The Dante Saga
by Karin-sama
Summary: For the curious who have always wondered what Heero's real name is, where he came from, what he did after the war, and the most important question of all. . .who are his parents anyway?
1. Dante's Prayer

  
  
  
Dante's Prayer  
by: Karin  
  
Disclaimer: The song "Dante's Prayer" belongs to   
Loreena McKennett. Also, all Gundam characters,   
situations, lines, etc have been taken from their   
respectible owners and used without pemission for a   
little bit of fun. Gomen! I'll give them back when I'm   
finished in perfect condition. Honest!  
  
  
Stars whizzed by the window of the spacecraft   
passenger shuttle to the amazement of a handsome young   
man. There was a soldier sitting next to him, speaking   
to him in low tones, but he wasn't truly paying   
attention. He was watching the Earth. The sun was   
behind it now, creating such an incredible mixture of   
light and dark it demanded the young man's total   
attention. He would be going there soon for the first   
time, and the excitement that thought held for him was   
ineffable. The Earth. A place where the inhabitants   
enjoyed real trees, the songs of native birds, and   
genuine sunshine.   
  
"When the dark wood fell before me."  
  
"Heero!" The soldier next to him hissed his code   
name with such violence it tore his eyes from the   
window to consider him. "Have you heard a single word   
I've told you?"  
"No," he answered promptly and honestly. The   
soldier scowled, and Heero thought he caught his hand   
clench in frustration.   
"Then listen more closely. We'll be reaching the   
colony in a few hours where you'll be getting off.   
You'll take my bag instead of the one you packed, it   
has everything inside that you'll be needing. They   
won't question you. Inside you'll find the print outs   
of your target. You'll have seventeen hours to   
complete your task, and I advise you to do it at   
night. As soon as you've finished come to the   
rendezvous point where you'll be picked up and taken   
back home before they realize anything is wrong.   
Understood?"  
"Could you explain to me the purpose of the   
mission?" If he had to destroy something he wanted a   
reason for doing so.  
"The Earth Sphere Alliance has been wanting to   
take over the colonies ever since they had the   
president assassinated, but we're not going to let   
that happen. Right now the Alliance is having a bit of   
a problem with keeping their control on Earth, so now   
is the time to rid our colonies of their rule. Do you   
understand that?" The soldier's manner was beginning   
to grate on Heero's nerves. Of course he understood.   
That is why they were sending him to the colony   
instead of the arrogant older man.   
"Mission accepted," he muttered before returning   
to the window. After this mission he could go to   
Earth. He just had to remember that as he was   
infiltrating the Alliance base.   
  
"And all the paths were overgrown."  
  
"We are about to dock in port 371 of Colony L85.   
Passengers are asked to retrieve their luggage from   
the above containers and prepare to land. Thank you."   
The soldier gave Heero one look before handing him his   
bag. There was no difference between the soldier's bag   
and the one Heero had taken, and there was a reason   
for that. A few moments passed before the shuttle made   
a smooth landing into the port of the colony. Once   
they were safely stopped, three Alliance men came onto   
the shuttle, guns visible at their hips. The soldier   
beside Heero held onto Heero's bag tightly,   
possesively, and looked at the men. Heero barely gave   
them a glance, but he had to give credit to the   
soldier's acting abilities. The Alliance men did not   
board every vessel so Heero was certain they had been   
informed by the port they had left from. It was not   
every day that soldiers brought explosives onto   
shuttles after all. These men had been waiting for   
this particular spacecraft.  
The men in their official uniforms went down the   
aisles, and once they passed the people would hurry   
out. One middle aged man stopped in front of the   
soldier and Heero. He pointed at Heero, who tried to   
look as innocent and unconcerned as possible, then   
jerked his thumb in the direction of the exit. He   
picked up the bag, the very one the men were looking   
for, and hastened off the shuttle. The Alliance would   
take the soldier for questioning, but when they   
examined the bag all they would find would be clothes   
and toothpaste, and by the time that happened Heero   
would be out of trouble. This would make it a little   
more difficult to infiltrate the base, but he knew he   
could handle it. Behind him he heard the soldier   
making protests as the men took hold of him, and   
smiled softly at the stewardess as he walked past her.   
There were other Alliance men in the port, but   
most of them were not paying any attention to him. And   
why should they? They had their man, and the danger of   
terrorists was over. No one should take any notice of   
one young boy wandering in the busy bustle of the   
space port. He spared them barely a glance, and made   
an easy path out.  
  
"When the priets of pride say there is no other way."  
  
So that's the base, he thought to himself as he   
walked around the permeter of the fence. A fence that   
he would be leaping over shortly. It was a huge, stark   
structure with all the appearances of looking   
official. As he walked around he picked the points   
where he would have to set explosives. One at the main   
entrance, another toward the south entrance, a few   
more at various places that he would determine when he   
was inside. That would be the most difficult part. .   
.getting inside and then out again without being seen.   
Wait a moment, there was something else inside   
the fence. Heero stopped to consider it carefully. It   
seemed a part of the base at first, but when he looked   
more closely he saw a woman hanging a rug out of an   
open window. Housing quarters for the soldiers and   
their families. No good, Heero shook his head. They   
were so close to the base. If he wasn't careful he   
could very well level the entire living building along   
with the other. With a pensive hand to his chin, he   
studied the proximity of the two structures, and   
nodded. It was possible, but he would have to be very   
strategic in the placement of his explosives.   
Now, he thought, to get to work. He didn't   
really want to, but if Dr. J told him it was necessary   
then it must be. "There is only one way, Heero," he   
had told him. "If we are to be independent then we   
must not tolerate this organization to dictate our   
colonies. We have to show them that we will not be   
controlled." With renewed purpose he shouldered the   
bag, and began to walk backwards so he could gain   
enough speed to make it over that fence.   
  
"I tilled the sorrows of stone."  
  
Gaining entrance to the base was easier than he   
had first thought. He only had to take out one guard   
with a quick chop to the neck with his hand. The man   
crumpled without a sound, and Heero made it inside. He   
wouldn't have much time before the man regained   
consciousness, or someone found him, but he knew what   
he was doing. In such a spacious building it was quite   
simple to manuever inside without being seen,   
especially with the use of the ventillation system.   
That is where he placed most of the explosives, hoping   
to dilute the impact by putting most of them deep   
inside the walls. That way it might be contained and   
not get close to the housing quarters.   
He passed the same man on his way out, planting   
one last bomb where it would not be noticed. He was   
still unconscious and Heero would bet that he wouldn't   
even remember what happened when he woke up. Meaning   
that everything was secure and ready for him whenever   
he wanted to take action. That wouldn't be for a   
while, there was still a few hours of daylight left.   
Well, it wasn't exactly sunlight, but it was a decent   
imitation. He gave one last look at the building,   
feeling an odd sense of accomplishment for his well   
done job, before jumping back over the fence and   
running until the base was no longer visible before   
pulling to a halt. He found himself in a park, filled   
with flowers and trees probably brought all the way   
from Earth. It was different than his colony, and he   
found it very beautiful. He knelt down to touch the   
living grass, then stretched out on his back, reveling   
in the softness of it and the warmth of the sunshine.   
  
"I did not believe because I could not see."  
  
It was easy to forget what he was there for   
surrounded by those flowers and the trees. Why there   
was even a gentle breeze blowing across the land. How   
they had organized that, he couldn't tell, but it was   
very nice. The base was far behind him, and even   
though he'd have to return there soon, he could still   
take these moments and make them his own. He wasn't a   
terrorist, he was a teenager. In a little while he   
would go home to help his mother set the table and   
then do his homework to the sounds of her humming and   
of the water running as she washed the dishes. He'd   
never met his mother, but he sometimes thought of her.   
Daydreaming of a normal life without explosives or   
missions or the Alliance. Things would be simple, and   
he would be happy. He felt a smile curve his lips as   
he thought of it, and he fell into a half doze.  
  
"Though you came to me in the night."  
  
"Are you lost?" Came the question in a childish   
soprano voice. Heero unclosed his eyes and sat up to   
consider who had addressed him. It was a young girl,   
no more than eight, standing in the fading artificial   
sunshine of the colony with an innocent smile on her   
small heart shaped face. She wore a cute spring dress   
and hat and in her hand was a red leash snapped to the   
collar of an excited, brown puppy. Lost? Not really,   
he knew where he was, and he should be getting back to   
the base since it was almost night.  
"I've been lost from the time I was born," he   
replied with only a slight tone of bitterness. He   
hadn't expected his voice to sound so cold, but in   
comparison to the girl's soft words he might as well   
be made of stone. The puppy squirmed onto his lap,   
giving a sharp yap of a bark.  
"Her name is Mary," the girl told him, kneeling   
down to pull the little mass of fur away from him. It   
gave another bark before jumping up to lick its   
mistress' cheek. She giggled and patted it gently on   
the head. Heero watched her sweet purity in silence.   
She was so innocent, her laugh was so clear. He'd   
never experienced such emotion and he found himself   
confused because of it.   
"I hope you find your way," she said, handing   
him a single yellow flower that she had been intending   
to give to her mother when she got home. She changed   
her mind because this boy seemed to need it more.   
Heero blinked, looking at the bright flower carefully   
before taking it from her. For a moment the girl   
thought about kissing him on the cheek, but Mary,   
catching sight of a rabbit, tugged at her restraint,   
dragging the girl with her. "Wait Mary!" Heero caught   
himself surpressing laughter as he watched her short   
form trot down the hill with Mary pulling her onward.   
Then he looked at the flower. No one had ever given   
him anything before. It was just a flower, but for   
some reason it made him feel special.   
That's why he tucked it next to his gun and ran   
after the girl. He took the leash from her and easily   
stopped Mary from chasing the rabbit. She smiled at   
him with child like admiration and he found himself   
smiling back.   
"It's getting dark," he said. "Let me walk you   
home." Her smile grew broader and she reached for his   
hand in the artificial twilight. He stiffened at   
first, but allowed her to keep possession of his hand.   
He even gave her small fingers a squeeze before they   
started off together.  
"Thank you. I live by the Alliance base." His   
heart tightened. He'd tried to put that out of his   
mind. The base. There would be no base there soon. "My   
daddy works there," the little girl chattered on as   
she skipped to keep up with his faster stride. "He's a   
soldier, and my mommy says he's very important. Maybe   
you could stay so you could meet him." Heero licked   
his lips and refused to say anything.  
  
"When the dawn seemed forever lost."  
  
He walked on in silence, allowing the girl to   
lead him where ever she would, keeping up a constant   
string of nonsense gibberish as they went. She talked   
about her puppy, and her mother, and her older   
brother, and her school, and a hundred other things.   
And all the while they walked, the light faded down   
into the night of the colony. He was going to ruin her   
life, he realized. The same sweet child who was   
holding his hand tightly was going to be crying in a   
little while when he completed his mission. He only   
hoped her father would be safe at home before he   
pushed the button to detonate. The sun would never   
shine on this girl again.  
  
"You showed me your love in the light of the stars."  
  
"Here it is!" The girl cried, digging into her   
pocket for her entrance card. Heero felt a stab of   
guilt as he followed her inside the confines of the   
gate. He'd only taken her home because it was an easy   
way to breach the heavier security of the night. But   
he found himself feeling something for her as she   
beckoned him toward the building. "Come and meet my   
mommy and daddy." He shook his head, handing her the   
leash.  
"Maybe some other time. I have to get home too."   
Her little face fell in disappointment for a moment   
before brightening again.  
"Tomorrow?" He laughed at her eagerness, and, on   
impulse, bent down to stroke the puppy.   
"We'll see," he replied vaguely. "Get on to your   
mother now before she gets worried." Since he was   
still kneeling, she gave him a quick, gentle kiss on   
the cheek. Then, in a fit of giggling, she allowed   
Mary to pull her up the stairs to her apartment where   
all the lights were on and Heero could see the   
silhouette of a woman welcoming her inside. He smiled   
as he watched the door close, then took out the   
detonation device, pulling the flower from its   
position. It fluttered to the ground and for a moment   
he thought about leaving it there, but in the end he   
bent to pick it up and tuck it back into its place.   
"Good-night!!" He heard the voice above him and   
looked up to wave at the girl one last time as she   
smiled down at him from an open window.   
"Hana," he heard her mother call, and then saw   
her standing beside her daughter, looking down at him.   
"Who are you shouting at?"  
"The boy, mommy, the one who walked me home.   
See? There he is." The woman studied him carefully   
before smiling.   
"Thank you, dear," she called down. "Did you   
want to come in for a minute?"  
"No ma'am," he said, shaking his head. "I'm   
expected somewhere."   
"Perhaps some other time then. Good-night!" The   
two forms disappeared and the window was closed. Heero   
stood alone, gazing upward. He looked past the window,   
and out to the stars that were visible in some parts   
of the colony's construction. They shone with the same   
pure light that poured warmly from the window of the   
family he was going to leave. No time to think about   
that though. He had a mission to accomplish.  
  
"Then the mountain rose before me."  
  
The building was covered in light too, but it   
was harsher. Heero need not even get very close, only   
just enough so the signal would be received by the   
explosive planted near the main entrance. No problem.   
He still held the flower in the same hand as the   
detonation device, but he was barely noticing either   
of them. He looked at the huge building, looming over   
everything within its shadow. It deserved to be   
destroyed, but did he have any right to ruin the lives   
of the soldier's families? Stop, Heero, he told   
himself, raising his hand. Now is not the time for   
second thoughts. You only have a half an hour before   
you are to meet the shuttle at the rendezvous point,   
and if you don't do this you will never get to Earth.   
With renewed resolve he pressed the button. . .and the   
first explosion went off. What followed was a noisy   
combination of explosions, sirens, and screaming.   
"Mission accomplished," Heero whispered in the   
clamor. He was just about to turn away and hop the   
fence before anyone came looking for him, when he saw   
one of the walls fall in the wrong direction. .   
.toward the housing quarters. Tossing the detonation   
device aside violently, but still clinging to the   
flower, he ran forward a few steps as if to prevent it   
from happening, though there was no way to stop it   
now. The building collapsed to the sound of more   
screams, and the lights in Hana's home flared brightly   
as they caught fire. He felt his eyes burn and   
wondered if some stray ashes had fallen into them.   
Without thinking he continued running forward, even as   
the building toppled, quenching the flames with the   
dust of the broken bricks. He ran into the rubble,   
heedless of falling shrapnel, until he found what he   
had hoped wouldn't be there. Under a pile of rock he   
could make out a bit of dirty, torn fabric. Upon it   
was the print of the dress Hana had been wearing just   
a short time ago, and beside it was Mary, her teeth   
clenched on the material as if trying to drag Hana out   
from under the ruin that would be her only grave. As   
Heero came close, he heard the small animal whine in   
pain.  
  
"By the deep well of desire."  
  
His hand tightened on the stem of the wilting   
flower. His throat hurt, his hand hurt, everything   
hurt. What's wrong with me? He thought as he stood   
there, powerless to move. I only have fifteen minutes.   
I have to leave. Ash began falling all around him,   
giving the illusion of snow. The explosions had   
ceased, as well as the sirens. Fear tightened his   
throat even further, but relaxed again when he saw   
that there was no reason for it. There was no one   
alive here except him. He had lived. Kneeling next to   
Mary, he began to stroke her dirty fur. He could see   
the blood where it had matted the soft brown, and also   
where it covered the white of Hana's dress. The   
burning sensation returned to his eyes, and he felt   
something hot and wet slide down his cheek.   
He brushed it away angrily, and, in a fit of   
rage at himself, shoved the half collapsed wall off of   
the girl trapped beneath. She was covered in dirt and   
blood, her hat gone and her dress torn. Yet amazingly,   
she moved a tiny bit once she was free. His throat   
constricted on its own as he dropped to his knees to   
support her head and lift her into a semi sitting   
position to ease her breathing. He could feel several   
of her bones were broken, and there was a crack in her   
skull, but she was alive. Mary made a small sound, and   
moved slightly closer to him.   
"You came back," Hana murmured, her eyes   
fluttering open and closed as she struggled to stay   
conscious. He brushed a strand of hair away from her   
face, trying to think of something appropriate to say.  
"I never left," he whispered bending over her to   
protect her from the falling ashes. Her body tightened   
in pain, and she bit her lip to keep from crying out.   
"I'll never leave." Fifteen minutes, maybe less. He   
could take her with him, save her. Of course, she   
could survive. There was a woman on his colony, a   
doctor he'd met once. She could save her.   
"Look," he strained to hear her harsh whisper.   
"The ocean." She stretched out her small hand as if to   
touch his face near his eye, and he gently took it in   
his own, pulling it back to the comfort of his   
embrace. Ocean? It was an unfamiliar word to him. He   
would have asked her what she meant, but she was so   
badly hurt it was probably just a delerious ranting.   
She looked deep into his eyes, and they were clear   
this time, completely calm and so beautifully clear.   
"The ocean." He didn't know what to say so he kept   
silent, keeping her gaze until her eyes closed for the   
last time. Her small body convulsed sharply against   
him, and then there was nothing. It was then that he   
realized he would have to leave her here, alone, with   
the rest of these poor people who had died because of   
him. Mary whimpered and brushed her head against his   
hand as he lay Hana down, crossing her arms over her   
chest.  
"I'm sorry," he stuttered, petting the dog with   
one hand and clenching the flower with the other. "I   
had to. I'm so sorry." He never understood why, but he   
picked up Mary and cradled her gently against him,   
standing stiffly. She made a whimpering sound, but was   
too weak and hurt to do anything to prevent him. He   
decided to take her with him to his colony. He would   
take care of her since it was his fault her mistress   
was dead. He squeezed his eyes shut as he thought of   
that. He had killed someone. He had killed an innocent   
little girl. He wished it hadn't happened. He wished   
he hadn't been here at all. He wished he'd never met   
her. He wished the war could be avoided. And he wished   
he was dead himself. But no matter how tightly he   
closed his eyes or how much he desired occurrences to   
reverse themselves, he was still standing in the   
middle of a burned ruin with a whimpering puppy held   
in his arms.   
  
"From the fountain of forgiveness."  
  
He looked upward to see the ash still falling,   
but beyond it he could see the stars still flashing   
their cold brilliance outside of the colony. As he   
stood and watched they seemed to blur together, and   
once again he felt the hot, wet something slide down   
his face. What was that? Why did he feel like this? He   
wasn't supposed to feel anything. He was Heero Yuy;   
the perfect soldier wasn't he? The puppy made a pained   
noise, bringing his attention from the fuzzy stars. It   
was then that he realized that his hands were shaking.   
Why? And he couldn't seem to stop. The trembling   
sensation traveled through his arms and then   
throughout his entire body, until he was forced to   
kneel again, curling himself around Mary. His throat   
tightened and he choked, squeezing his eyes shut   
because they were on fire. His stomach hurt. What is   
wrong with me? Mary whined. Why is this happening? He   
felt her struggle against him as his grip tightened   
too hard. I can't feel anything. A sharp sound escaped   
from his throat, and his shoulders convulsed with the   
force of it. I'm not supposed to feel anything! Up   
above the stars stared down at him accusingly, and he   
gave up any hope of being forgiven for what he had   
done.  
  
"Beyond the ice and the fire."  
  
He never really knew how he reached the   
rendezvous point. He supposed he had walked away from   
the scene in a pained daze, stumbling through the dark   
and making it just in time. A different soldier was   
there than the one he came to the colony with. He   
gestured hurriedly for him to get on the spacecraft.   
The only thing he seemed to be able to say was   
"mission accomplished" when they spoke to him, but he   
never really knew what they said. He spent the flight   
staring out the window at the far off Earth, and it   
seemed colder to him than when he had seen it   
seventeen hours ago. He would have to do this again   
and again and again. He was no better than the   
terrorist that the Alliance labeled him. At first he   
was angry at himself. Why had he proceeded with the   
mission when he knew that the housing quaters were too   
close? He should have known better than that! By the   
time they were far away from the colony, however, the   
flames in his soul had died down into a shocked   
numbness. And somehow that hurt more than being angry.   
To be able to feel something is always better than   
indifference. He closed his eyes, seeing again and   
again Hana reaching down to hand him a flower, and   
finally fell asleep to the stroking motions his   
fingers made over Mary's fur.   
  
"Though we share this humble path, alone."  
  
"Fool!" Was the first word he heard as he   
stepped off the shuttle. He was home again, still   
carrying Mary even though she had died on the plane.   
He paid whoever had called him a fool no attention,   
only walked slowly down the bleak, dark corridor that   
led to his simple bedroom. "If you can't handle death   
then you will never make the soldier that we need. The   
perfect soldier can have no emotions."  
"Leave him be," came another voice, a feminine   
one that Heero had only heard once before. He stared   
straight ahead, ignoring everything except the little   
brown corpse in his arms. The voices droned on, but he   
could no longer hear them.   
"It's only his first time," Dante argued, her   
hands planted firmly on her hips as she prevented Dr.   
J from following the hurting Heero. "We don't know   
what happened to him there."  
"It doesn't matter. He can't give in to these   
feelings if he is going to do us any good. I am not   
willing to admit that all the training I have put him   
through has been for nothing."  
"Let me go to him, then." Dr. J shook his head   
in a vigorous no. Dante's prussian blue eyes took on   
the shine of pleading as she rushed to prevent him   
from walking away from her. "Let me talk to him. I   
can't make him deny that he is a human being with   
feelings, but I might be able to help him deal with   
them in a way that will be beneficial to both of you."  
"You know why I can't allow you to do this."  
"He won't know. I won't tell him. Please Dr. J,   
if he is going to be worth anything to you then you   
have to let me talk to him." The elderly doctor   
adjusted his glasses as he sighed wearily. Dante felt   
his will crumbling as she stood waiting patiently for   
his answer.   
"Be quick, and not a word --"  
"I know. I promise." She almost ran away from   
him just in case he changed his mind at the last   
second. It had been so long since she had been allowed   
to actually speak to Heero, and even though the   
circumstances that had led to this meeting were   
unfortunate, she couldn't deny that she was happy   
about the outcome.  
It was only when she reached his closed door   
that she hesitated. How would she help him? He had   
been trained so harshly. What if her gentle words   
could not be understood by him now? But he couldn't be   
beyond all feeling or this mission would not have   
affected him so much. What if he didn't remember her?   
He'd only met her once, and that had been by accident.   
She wasn't supposed to have any contact with him at   
all. That had been Dr. J's idea to keep them separate.   
It wasn't wise for Heero to grow emotionally attached   
to anyone. He was meant for a suicide mission after   
all. She shook her head, not wanting to think about   
that, and with renewed resolve opened the door. She   
had to be strong for him now because only she knew   
exactly how he felt. And only she knew the depth of   
his loneliness.  
  
"How fragile is the heart."  
  
He was sitting on the edge of his bed when she   
entered. Just sitting there with his dirty clothes   
still on and the light still off. In his slightly   
trembling arms he held the body of the dead puppy, and   
one withered yellow flower. Dante had no way of   
knowing what had happened to him on the colony, and it   
would take a great deal of persuasion to get him to   
talk about it. He did not even seem to be aware that   
she stood directly in front of him, even though he   
stared right at her feet, rocking slightly back in   
forth in shock. His expression was torn. Torn between   
wanting to be the perfect soldier he had been trained   
to be and giving in to what his body told him he   
should be feeling. It hurt to see him that way. He   
didn't even seem to be able to weep. How was it that   
those men had taken from him the ability to cry? Any   
normal teenager would be running to her arms for   
comfort, but even though he was brokenhearted he would   
not allow himself that weakness.   
  
"Oh, give these clay feet wings to fly."  
  
"Heero," she used the only name he had ever   
known, though it was not the name she had given him.   
He flinched at the word, but would not look at her   
until she had knelt down to catch his eyes. "Tell me   
what happened." His lower lip quivered and for a   
moment she thought he would break down.  
"Mission accomplished," he whispered taking a   
deep breath and breaking their gaze. For a moment she   
considered embracing him, but thrust that thought from   
her mind as Dr. J's warning came back to her. There   
will be no contact.   
"Well done," she whispered back, realizing that   
he was not ready to talk just yet. She would have to   
take a different stance to the situation. "Now get   
cleaned up and into bed. Dr. J will be giving you your   
new orders in the morning." This got his attention. He   
stopped rocking and raised his head. "You'll be going   
to Earth." He stood up so slowly it would have locked   
anyone else's knees, staring at her and clinging to   
the little dog. "Let me take that." He hesitated,   
looking down and stroking its matted fur.   
"Mary," he said, still petting it.  
"Mary," she repeated, reaching out to take it.   
He sighed, but relinquished it to her and turned in   
the direction of his shower. "I'll be here in the   
morning, Heero." He stopped at the sound of his name,   
half turning.  
"Ocean," he whispered. "What is an ocean?" He   
asked in the soft voice that implied it was not a   
rhetorical question. Dante raised an eyebrow. Ocean?   
Where had he heard that word? It meant nothing. Had no   
relevance to anything that was going on. Heero had   
never seen an ocean, no body of water larger than a   
fountain. As she stood there puzzling on his strange   
question, the sound of running water drifted out to   
her. He was washing away the dirt and blood of his   
mission while she was standing there holding the   
corpse of the dog.   
  
"To touch the face of the stars."  
  
"It didn't do any good did it?" Dr. J greeted   
her as she closed the door to Heero's room as softly   
as possible, the puppy tucked in the crook of her   
elbow. The unspoken "I told you so" made her furious.  
"What did you do to him? Who carries around the   
body of a dead dog?"  
"It was a test, to see if he was strong enough   
to send to Earth where none of us will be able to help   
him. I must admit that I thought he could handle it   
better than he is."  
"And the dog?" The elder man shook his head,   
giving it a glance.   
"There's nothing to be done for that except to   
burn it. Now that you have had your chance I suggest   
that you take care of that."  
"I need more time. He needs time. He's only just   
come back."  
"You sound as if you need this more than he   
does." She stiffened, breaking eye contact with Dr.   
J's flashing glasses. The thing was that he was right.   
Without another word, she walked past him, intent on   
burning Mary. She did need time with Heero, much more   
than she would ever receive, but for now she must be   
content with what she had. Her only hope was that he   
did not ask what had happened to the dog as she thrust   
it into the flames. No, Heero was not the only one who   
needed comfort. Heero was not the only one who lived   
among the stars, yet still found himself powerless to   
actually catch one. And how many more stars would be   
lost by the end of the war that she was helping to   
start? And Heero. What had she done to him? He'd never   
be the same. Never enjoy anything normal. And she had   
lost control of him. There was nothing for her to do   
except sigh, and wish that she hadn't made this   
mistake. - You have to fix this, Dante - she thought   
to herself. - Help him so he can get through this war.   
Show him that the stars gleam brightly no matter how   
dark humanity might be. - But how? He would be   
monitored now, and she was not supposed to be with   
him. She couldn't break that rule, or could she? Were   
keeping the rules more important to her than Heero?   
Shaking her head she hurried back to his room, hoping   
she wouldn't run into anyone on the way. She couldn't   
leave him alone, not tonight when he needed her most.   
  
"Breathe life into this feeble heart."  
  
When she entered Heero's room the second time,   
he was fast asleep on the bed, completely dressed with   
a laptop still glowing by his head. She bent down to   
see what he had been researching. Pictures of the   
ocean were flashing across the screen. He was still   
wondering about oceans while she still had no idea   
why. She considered waking him, but decided against   
it. Let him have this peace, it would be the only   
peace he would find for a very long time hereafter.   
She closed the computer, shutting down the images and   
lifting it from the bed. Heero stirred as the screen   
went dark. Dante could see his eyes squeeze tightly   
shut, and he made a whimpering sound as he flipped   
over onto his back.  
"I killed her," he whispered, though whether he   
was awake or not was impossible to determine. "It was   
my fault. . .the housing quarters were too close. .   
.she gave me a flower. . .and I killed her. But that's   
what I'm supposed to do. Why won't it go away?" So he   
talked in his sleep. She didn't know that. There were   
so many things about Heero that she didn't know that   
she should. From his sleeping habits to his favorite   
color. She hovered over the bed, her fingers   
outstretched as if to smooth his hair from his   
forehead, but for some reason she just couldn't do it.   
She couldn't bring herself to touch him for fear he   
might wake and find her there. Instead she knelt by   
his bed, studying his perfect features in the   
artificial light that crept inside from the window.   
"You didn't kill her," she whispered   
comfortingly to him even though he probably could not   
hear. "The war killed her. Foolish, power hungry men   
killed her."  
"So innocent. . .her laugh. . .her eyes. . .she   
was so relieved when I came back to hold her as she   
died. . .she said she could see the ocean."  
"She'll never know pain, Heero. She's safe now.   
You need to worry about yourself. It was not your   
fault the housing quarters were too close. Let her go   
and focus on how you're going to make it through   
this." He made another whimpering sound, rolling over   
to his side and curling up in a protective ball. Even   
in his sleep he was fighting himself, trying to remain   
in control of his emotions.  
"I don't want to die. . .afraid . . .the ocean   
looks cold and dark. . .I'm afraid." Again she   
resisted the urge to brush a hand across his cheek.   
She knew now what the girl had meant when she had seen   
the ocean. She had been looking into Heero's dark,   
cold, prussian blue eyes and thought they looked like   
the water.   
"Oceans are beautiful, Heero. When you are on   
Earth you will see just how awe inspiring they are   
when the sun sets over them. Just wait. The war will   
be over soon and you will live. You will live on   
because you are strong."  
  
"Lift this mortal veil of fear."  
  
"It is all right to be afraid, Heero. You should   
be afraid if you are to keep your senses, but don't   
let it overcome you. Make Death your ally."  
"It didn't help Hana to dance with Death."  
"She wasn't dancing with Death, she was in an   
accident. You have the power of Death, Heero. It's   
yours to deal out as you please."  
"I don't want it."  
"I know, and I should have realized that before   
I ever got you involved in this." The sound of the   
door opening caused her to spin around to see who had   
entered. Fear clutched her heart as she recognized the   
silhouette of Dr. J standing in the light of the hall.   
She stood quickly, placing a careful hand on Heero's   
bed, almost touching his fingers.  
"I'm not leaving," she blurted out before he   
even had a chance to say anything.  
"You know the rules, Dante."  
"He can't be alone tonight. One night won't make   
any difference in our relationship."  
"One night can make all the difference in the   
world."  
"Please." She felt a tear slide down her cheek   
and splatter on her hand. "I still love him." Dr. J   
sighed, reaching for the doorknob with his good hand.   
"One night," he said quietly, and disappeared.   
Wiping her eyes, Dante returned her attention to the   
boy on the bed, only to find him sitting up and   
staring at her curiously.  
  
"Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears."  
  
"Dante," he whispered her name and she smiled   
for him. "I don't understand."  
"You don't need to, Heero. Only know that people   
will die in this, and you must be ready to accept   
that." He squeezed his eyes shut as if torn between   
keeping stoic or telling her a secret.  
"What is wrong with me?"  
"There is nothing wrong with you."  
"Then why do I hurt so much?" She bit her lip,   
wondering how to respond.  
"Because Death is painful, Heero. But everything   
will come out right if you live by your emotions. They   
will tell you what you should do. And should you ever   
encounter Death, make him your ally, but however its   
done try to live through this." He nodded slowly   
before slipping under the blankets and curling up in a   
sleepy, sorrowful ball. She remained sitting on the   
bed. She would wait until he was completely asleep,   
even if she waited all night.  
  
"We'll rise above these earthly cares."  
  
She may be just as unused to showing her   
feelings as was the boy in the bed, but for the first   
time in her life she stroked his cheek softly and   
thought she saw him smile. He gave a comfortable sort   
of sigh at her touch, curling tighter. The coming war   
faded in the artificial moonlight. The destroyed base   
was of no importance. Hana's memory was still there,   
and it would take a long time before Heero would be   
able to forgive himself, but it would not have a   
crippling effect on his performance. He would be fine.   
He would make it through this.   
"Cast your eyes on the ocean," Dante   
prayed/whispered over the boy. "Cast your soul to the   
sea. When the dark night seems endless, please   
remember me." Timidly and slowly, she bent to give him   
a gentle kiss on the forehead, then started up when he   
stirred slightly. She could leave him now. There was   
nothing more she could do for him.   
Heero stiffened when he felt the woman's lips   
brush his forehead. It eased the pain that gripped his   
heart and throat. Even more than that, he had seen the   
ocean in her eyes as well, reflecting the stars and   
making it seem less frightening. He would be able to   
live by his emotions, at least he would try. And he   
would free the colonies from the Alliance. He was   
Heero Yuy, who would make a friend of Death himself.   
"Good-night Heero," the woman named Dante   
whispered and he felt her get up from the bed. There   
was a brief light flooding into the room as she opened   
and closed the door and he was alone again.   
"Good-night, Mom," he whispered after her,   
knowing she hadn't heard, but thinking it better that   
way. He would go to Earth tomorrow and have to leave   
her behind, but he could remember what she told him.  
  
"Cast your eyes on the ocean.  
Cast your soul to the sea.  
When the dark night seems endless,  
please remember me."  
  
  
  



	2. Touch the Wind: Dante's Secret

  
  
Touch the Wind: Dante's Secret  
by: Karin  
shinigamis_wings@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing does not belong to me in any way shape or form, I am simply taking a couple characters and history for my own entertainment. The song "Touch the Wind" was not written by me either, but it fit so well I had to use it. I do, however, claim some credit for Dante, Heero's mother, and for Kitayori, Heero's father.  
  
Summary and Notes: First of all, I am not saying that this is the way it happened, I'm just posing something that might have occurred. In this fic I tell the story of Dante, Heero's mother, and describe the secret of his parentage and birth. It will make much more sense if you read Dante's Prayer first. *If you want to read the last section "Return to Innocence: Dante's Promise" or any of the others in the Dante Trilogy they both can be found here: http://ltnoinsguidetogw.mainpage.net under the songfic section.*   
  
*I woke up this morning and my mind fell away.*  
  
The lights of the colony were already streaming through my window when I finally opened my eyes. It took me a while before I realized why I had slept so late, and then I remembered what today meant. Heero was going to Earth with the Gundam today. Of all the days to sleep in! I rushed out of my room knowing full well that he was already gone, had left sometime in the night, and I would probably never see him again.  
  
I went to his bedroom, no one was monitoring it now that he was no longer there. I found it just as empty as when he had inhabited it, but there was an absence there now. His presence, however cold and fierce, was no longer anywhere here. He had left only one thing behind on his bedside table, and I only wish I knew what he meant in leaving it there. I know he meant something, for Heero never did anything without a purpose, I had only to puzzle out what it was. He had left the wilted flower he had taken from the colony. I picked it up with trembling fingers, feeling myself losing control. I hadn't had the chance to tell him my secrets. I had always meant for him to know everything. It wasn't right that the opportunity had been taken from me, and it wasn't fair that he was being denied this. But it was all my fault from the beginning. It was my fault that he was going to Earth in that machine, and it was my fault that he didn't have a mother.  
  
*Looking back sadly from tomorrow.*  
  
I'm sure that everyone has regrets. Piles of memories that begin with an "if only" or a "why couldn't I have" that makes them wince to remember. Well my "if only" might have saved a life, a life that is more precious to me than my own. But my "if only" should not have brought me here to this empty bedroom with a withered flower in my hand because the only mistake I made was to fall in love.  
  
His name was Kitayori, though I doubt if it was his true name. It did not matter to me then. If he wanted to call himself Wind then it was up to him. I only knew what he meant to me, and how his eyes crinkled when he smiled.   
  
I met him in a crowd the day the colony president Heero Yuy was assassinated. I was a young medical student then, just graduated, and just making my entrance into the real world while he had been a bodyguard. When the gunshot cracked through the general noise of the people and President Yuy fell I was the first doctor at his side, pressing my suit jacket to his skull to staunch the wound, knowing that it had been too clear a shot for any of my efforts to be of any use. But who would do such a thing? What murdering anarchist would shoot the man responsible for uniting the colonies and fighting fierce politics to be sure that they were treated equally? Now that he was gone the colony alliances would dissolve, and they would become easy targets for the start of a dictatorship.   
  
I felt a hand on my shoulder as one of the colony men with the president knelt beside me. I glanced up at him without really seeing anything as my thought process was not focused except on the welfare of the colonies and on the man who was dying in my lap.  
  
"I've called for help," the man said, his voice filled with worry. "Is he going to live?" I shook my head numbly, knowing what his death would mean to this man and finding myself unable to speak.   
  
I did not look at him clearly until after the ambulance had taken the body from the street. We stood together watching it go, confused as to what to do now that he was gone. We looked at each other, considering each other. He was a colony man, and I had never left Earth's atmosphere, yet we had been drawn together by the same circumstance and that was worth an introduction.   
  
He was tall for a man of obvious Japanese heritage, at least three inches my superior. His body was lean, dark, and perfectly muscled. His black hair hung about his face from all directions, making it seem tousled from some wind and bringing his bangs into his eyes. And such eyes! They were so deep brown that they almost shone black. We stared at each other awkwardly for a moment before he reached out his hand to me in greeting.   
  
"Kitayori," was all he said, nodding his head respectfully.  
  
"Dante," I replied, mimicking his gesture and taking his hand. The sorrow was so deep in his gaze that I felt I needed to add something. "I'm really very sorry. I wish that there had been something more I could do." He still had my hand in his, and still held my eyes locked.  
  
"There is," he half whispered in such a way my heart skipped. "You are a doctor aren't you?"  
  
"I. . .I am."  
  
"We have a need for a good doctor on my colony. If you were to come with me you would be doing them a better favor than saving their president's life."   
  
"You want me to go with you into space?" His eyes burned deeply into mine and I found myself losing my will to his entrancing presence.   
  
"Please." I looked down at our hands, entwined and natural, and found myself wanting to leave the mundaneness of my life on Earth and give myself to service in a far away place. And above these was the desire to follow this perfected being who named himself for the wind where ever he wanted to carry me. I found myself nodding before I knew what I was agreeing to.  
  
"I'll come," I told him and watched his entire countenance brighten with my assent. From that moment onward I did everything I could to give him reason to favor me with that beautiful smile.  
  
*As I heard an echo from the past softly say,  
Come back, come back, won't you stay?*  
  
He smiled at me in that way only twice after that first time. Of course his nature was so jovial that he smiled quite frequently, but these smiles were different. They shone in his eyes and lit up his entire face in such a way that one couldn't help but be caught up in his joy. He smiled at me when he lifted my veil on our wedding day, and when I told him that we were going to have a baby.  
  
We shared so many small activities of love when we were together. Hot tea in the evening after he came home from work, kisses over breakfast before we separated for the day. He even imported roses from Earth on Christmas because he knew I loved them and they could be found nowhere on the colony. He found me a job there, a good job working in a children's hospital. Children who were brought in off the streets because they had no other place to go. He remained secretive on what he did, but I figured it had to do with mechanics if the amount of greasy oil on his hands when he came home was any clue. He smiled away my questions, and there was a binder that he carried with him everywhere that he never permitted me to see. I allowed him his privacy, but it sometimes bothered me that he would keep secrets.   
  
I was a fine one for thinking of keeping secrets. How many had I kept from Heero even when I had the brief opportunities to tell him the truth? I clung to the flower more tightly, kneeling next to the bed. He had never known his mother, and I had barely known his father.   
  
The last memory I have of him was the day he gave those roses to me. I was reading on the sofa when I heard the door open, and it wasn't long until he hugged me from behind and thrust the fragrant bouquet into my hands.   
  
"From home," he whispered into my ear, kissing the top of my head. "Special delivery and kissed by the wind." I turned around to get a better kiss, reaching my arms up to cling to him.  
  
"They're beautiful, Kit. I'd almost forgotten what roses looked like." He smiled into my hair.  
  
"And I promise that I'll be home again before they wilt." I pulled away, considering him.  
  
"Where are you going?" He never answered me when I asked him that, but this time I really needed him to. What was so important that he had to leave his wife on Christmas Eve? There was something about this that made me uneasy, and I clung to him as if I would never see him again.  
  
"The Earth Sphere Alliance has made their first move," he said as way of explanation.  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
"It means that I must counter with one of my own." I didn't understand him then, but he was speaking of revolution. The Alliance was trying to take over the colonies, and there were some rebels who were not about to let that happen. Kitayori happened to be one of them. I found out later that he had gone to engage in a resistance movement, and as his spirit was so radiant it stood from among the others. He was shot in the heat of a moment by an Alliance man who had been trying to restore the peace.   
  
"Don't go," I had pleaded, blocking the door as he came down the stairs with his knapsack over his shoulder. "This time, please, stay here." He lay his hand on my abdomen, looking at me very seriously.  
  
"Do you want him to be free?" Kit had already decided by then that our child was a boy.   
  
"Of course I do, but what has that got to do with you leaving?"  
  
"I'm going to make sure that he lives in a world where he is free." He bent down to kiss me, pressed his hand against my stomach, and turned to walk out the door.   
  
"Come back, Kit," I called after him, but he only gave a backwards glance and wave. "I want you to stay." The house was very dark that night, and I knew as I lay in our bed that I would never see him again.  
  
*I wanted to reach you, let you know I still care.*  
  
The roses died and still Kit had not returned. I found myself watching the flowers in their vase every day for signs of wilt, and my despair grew as each petal fell. He wasn't coming back, and I hadn't even told him that I loved him. So many good-byes that I hadn't uttered, so many things I hadn't said. The only thing that kept me alive on the day I finally knew that I would never see my husband again was the life that was a part of him that was growing inside me. I found myself wandering about the house as if I didn't belong there, wondering what had happened. Why would he leave me? I felt deserted and cast off. After this initial sense of abandonment by the one I loved the most, I fell into a numb detachment, giving myself to meaningless tasks simply to give my mind something else to think about other than how lonely the place had become without the wind rushing through it every day.  
  
I was cleaning out Kit's office the day that the man found me. My husband was never a disorganized person, but it was just something else that my melancholy mind told me needed to be done, so I flung myself into the comfort of sorting through the papers. There were the usual things, old bill receipts, the tax documents for the past five years or so, neatly filed away in cabinets behind the computer desk. But it was the computer desk that caught my attention, because it was there that he had left his binder. The one that he never allowed me to look in. I was tempted, so tempted to open it and see what secrets he felt he needed to hide from me, perhaps I might find a clue as to where he went, and why he left me behind. But I just couldn't break the trust that he had given me in leaving it here so I picked it up to put it somewhere that I would not see it, lest my curiosity get the better of me. That was when he entered the room.  
  
He was an elderly man with white wispy hair hanging straight down his back, wearing a scientist lab coat and glasses that never showed his eyes, only a reflection of oneself. I hadn't even heard him come into the house, but when I turned around from the desk he was standing in the doorway, his gun trained upon my heart, which promptly stopped beating in fear. I dropped the binder and several papers scattered at the collision. The man's eyes might have followed it down to the floor, but I could never tell.  
  
"What are you doing here?" He demanded, shaking the gun for emphasis.  
  
"I live here," I squeaked, barely able to hear myself. "I'm Kitayori's wife. If you're looking for him --" He held up his other hand, which wasn't a hand at all, but a cruel three fingered metallic contraption, cutting me off.  
  
"He's dead. I'm here for something else." With the gun still aimed at me, he bent to pick up the papers along with the binder with that mechanical arm while I pondered his words. Who was this man that he knew of my husband's death? How had Kit died and how could I not know of it until now? Why did he have a gun and what was in that binder that he wanted so badly? I felt tears of sorrow and fear slide down my face, and I unconsciously placed a protective hand over my stomach. "Do you know what is in this?" He asked me as he stood straight again, holding the binder up for my inspection. I shook my head in a vigorous no, thankful that I could tell the truth with the action.  
  
"Even so," he went on, lowering his artificial arm, the binder clenched tight in the claw, "This is much too important for the secret to be revealed." A moment of bravery caught me as I realized that he had every intention of shooting me. I didn't care if I died, but I wanted my child to live.  
  
"If you mean to kill me then I must tell you that in the act you will be committing a double murder," I informed him quickly, my hand still held against the life that breathed within me. One of his eyebrows drew downward as he considered that. He paused as if calculating something in his head before lowering the gun. I allowed myself to breathe.  
  
"Come with me. You will be of use to us." I shuddered at the words, but if it gave my baby a chance to come into the world then who was I to refuse him? He took me outside to a waiting car, and we drove off together, leaving behind my house, my roses, and everything I had ever loved, never to see them again.  
  
*I'm lost in the silence of my sorrow.*  
  
He took me to what seemed a classified military base, running with personnel intent on some duty or another. All around I could hear the whir of computers, and the clang of machinery. Whatever this place was, my husband had been involved in it somehow, and now I was going to become a part as well.  
  
The man, I learned later that he was a scientist known only as Dr. J, led me to a suite of rooms apparently reserved for guests or, in this case, a prisoner, deep within the building where he left me alone in silence. I stayed in those chambers for the rest of my pregnancy, never allowed to leave unattended as the doors were kept locked, and the only company I had was that of a young soldier who brought me meals twice a day and sometimes Dr. J himself who would come to see how the child was developing. On certain days I was permitted to walk about the base with the young soldier for exercise, and where ever we went the other young men would look upon me as if I was another Blessed Mary carrying their Savior, and in a way, I was, though I didn't know it yet.   
  
As I grew heavier I most certainly didn't feel blessed. I felt ugly, annoyed, and very claustrophobic in my chambers, especially since there was no one who would give me any answers to anything I asked. I found myself growing grouchy and snappy with both Dr. J and the poor soldier who so patiently bore my abuse with his solemn demeanor. But it was the only thing I could do. I was a strong willed person being held against my will for reasons I did not know, and that frightened me as well as sharpened my temper.   
  
It was another soldier who freed me, two weeks before I was due he came to me in place of the usual boy. I didn't know why the change had been made, nor did I care. I paid him no attention as I had taken to ignoring everyone and everything about me, spending hours on end simply talking to my unborn child, him being the only joy in my miserable existence. I would have allowed him to leave without saying a word, but he was the one who spoke first.   
  
"I've been looking for you for months," he said, looking at me as if he expected me to disappear. I simply glared at him. "I can't believe you've been here all this time while I've been searching up every colony Kitayori has ever lived on. I've got something important to tell you." I hadn't really been listening to his chatter, but I sniffed at the last sentence.  
  
"There's nothing you can say that will have any meaning to me. You don't even know me!"  
  
"I know that you've been kissed by the wind." That stopped me short of a quick reply, my hand reaching up to my heart as it throbbed painfully with a buried sorrow. Yes, I remembered being kissed by the wind, but how would he know anything about that? I collapsed onto the sofa behind me, staring up at him in dazed wonderment.  
  
"What do you know of the wind?"  
  
"I know that he loved you very much, because I was with him when he died. He told me to tell you that." I had to look away from him, my grief choking me as my body fought to gain the control of expressing emotion.  
  
"Did. . .did he tell you anything else?"  
  
"Only that he never meant for you to be caught up in this. That's why I'm here to get you out." My gaze snapped back up to consider him. Was he being serious? Could he really free me?   
  
"How?"  
  
"There's a way. I just wish I'd found you here sooner," he eyed my very pregnant form with a calculating gaze. "It would have made things easier." All I could do was shrug and hope that my clumsiness would not cause any great problems that would impede my escape.   
  
"What is 'here' anyway?" He seemed to be full of answers and willing to share so I deemed it appropriate to ask all of the questions that had been ignored for months. He shook his head.  
  
"It's a secret organization that the Alliance hasn't found out about yet."  
  
"But why have they been keeping me prisoner for so long?"  
  
"They need a pilot." I was confused, excited, and scared. What did he mean, pilot? I wasn't of any use that way, I didn't know the first thing about aircrafts. I opened my mouth to ask what he meant, but he had the door open now and gave me a silencing look. Gently, almost hesitantly, he placed his hand over my stomach. "They need a pilot that they can train to have no soul," he whispered then brought his finger to his lips and led me out of my chambers.  
  
I followed with the trust of someone blind, and I was to a certain extent. Blinded by shock of what he had just said. They wanted my baby? Did they honestly intend to take him away from me. I wanted to ask more questions, demand to know why these things had been done to me. Why did they need a pilot to begin with? But as we were slinking along the corridors of the place in the dark I didn't think it the best time to begin a discussion. I wanted out, more now than ever before. The child squirmed within me, feeling my fear as it pounded out a rhythm in my ears. I soothed it with a hand, and hurried as best I could behind the form of the soldier who had no other ties to me other than the dying wish of my husband.   
  
*And I put a promise in the wind, on the air,*  
  
We made our secret way, avoiding security, but there were too many people rushing about, even in the dead of night, that it was impossible for us to make it without being seen. One of the evening security guards heard our footsteps and called out, asking who was there. The as yet unnamed soldier pierced me with a look that obviously meant for me to stay where I was while he assured the guard of his innocent intent in walking about the base. He would come back for me when all was safe.   
  
The child gave me a vicious kick as I waited there. He would not calm or stay still, and I was beginning to worry as the pain increased. Dr. J had not informed me that there was anything unnatural about my pregnancy, but the babe was reacting violently to my panicked emotions. And as he kicked out and squirmed, I grew more frightened. I had to get out of here, I simply had to.   
  
Footsteps behind me caused me to start, turning quickly to find that the person who was coming closer was not the soldier who was helping me to escape. I needed to run, get away from whoever they were. They would take me back, lock me up again, and keep my baby. Blood rushed to my head as I ran as silently as I could, and pain grew sharper with every step. I turned a corridor, running deeper into the base, wondering how I could possibly get myself out of this horrible place without the assistance of my husband's friend. I couldn't hear any sounds of pursuit, but that might have been because everything had gone fuzzy in my flight through the dark.   
  
I ran until I was physically incapable of continuing, leaning against a wall to catch my breath and wondering to myself where I was. There was no sounds except for my own panting, and I began to question if there had ever been anyone after me in the first place. Perhaps it had been nothing more than paranoia. I felt foolish. I'd never be able to find that soldier again. I'd have to get out of here by myself. But how was I to do that? The base was constructed in a huge labyrinth, and while I had taken numerous walks throughout it I was not taken this deep into the structure nor could I find my way in the dark.   
  
A siren screamed out suddenly, causing me to leap up in surprise and panic, my hands over my ears, knowing that Dr. J had found out that I had escaped somehow. Now everyone would be looking for me. I had to get out of here. A door down the hall a ways burst open and several soldiers sprinted out. Lucky for me they ran off in the opposite direction of where I stood, and in the dark no one saw me. I ducked into the room before the door shut and locked, thinking it somewhere I could hide, for who would think to look for me behind a door that was supposed to be locked?  
  
The room was much larger than I had expected, and not as dark as the hallway had been. I clung to a railing to steady myself as my baby struggled inside me. I couldn't be going into labor. I had two weeks left, and this was the worst possible time for it to happen. I heard the door open through a dizzy haze, but found myself unable to move very much. At this point I was no longer thinking of escape, but of the survival of my baby. Light flooded the room, revealing three men far below me. I realized that I was on a catwalk. All around were pieces of machinery and different tools.   
  
"There she is," I heard one of the men cry, pointing up at me.   
  
"How did she get in here?" The other wondered as the third began up the stairs to the catwalk. I knelt, knowing I was not going to get out of here. I had failed. Looking up I caught a glimpse of what they were building in this room. It seemed an enormous head, hanging there, suspended on numerous cables, and as I looked the eyes shone green and my baby made a violent movement within me.   
  
"Hey," I felt a hand on my shoulder. Odd that there was genuine concern in his voice. "What's wrong?" The other two were there, pulling me back to my feet.   
  
"She's hemorrhaging. Call Dr. J quickly!" Their faces blurred together, and the last thing I saw before I lost consciousness were the eerily glowing eyes of the robot head.  
  
I woke up in a hospital room, or what looked like a hospital room. I had to be still on the base, there was no way they would have let me go. The pain had subsided into a dull throb across my abdomen. There was a middle aged man at my side, writing something down on a chart.  
  
"I want to talk to Dr. J," I told him in what I hoped was a commanding tone. "Now." He looked at me indifferently, but after a moment's staredown he did punch in the request on the com unit screwed to the wall.  
  
"Where is my baby?" I demanded as he walked through the door. The other man gave us a brief look before leaving us alone to our discussion.  
  
"He's safe, though he needs to be monitored for the time being. It was a premature birth." I knew that part, and I also knew that it had been a C-section. He hadn't answered to my satisfaction though. The only thing useful I received in that sentence was the confirmation that he was indeed male just as Kitayori had assumed.  
  
"You aren't taking him away from me." Dr. J smiled and made a soothing gesture with his claw of a hand.  
  
"I have no intention of taking him from you yet."  
  
"Yet. You aren't taking him ever. Don't you understand he's all I have left?"   
  
"Don't you understand he's all the colonies have left? If we don't use him then the colonies will be dictated by Earth and their freedom will be eliminated."  
  
"You won't be using him. Find another pilot to fly that. . thing. Why does it have to be him?"  
  
"He is here, and his father deserves the honor that he will bring to him with what we have in mind."  
  
"His father has nothing to do with you. He wanted his son to be free."  
  
"Kitayori had everything to do with us. He was the main mechanic for the building of the Gundam Wing. When he said he wanted his son to be free, he meant that he wanted the colonies to be free."  
  
"What do you mean to do?"  
  
"Start a war of course. Don't worry, you'll be provided for. You'll remain here to help us. Wars have great need for doctors." So colony rebels meant to start a war for independence from Earth. I shook my head.  
  
"You aren't taking him from me."   
  
"I'm afraid you won't have any say in that." Never have I felt so helpless as I did then. Kitayori's son, my son, conceived in love but born into a place where he would never be taught what it meant.   
  
"You will allow me to see him." I made vows to myself as I lay in the bed glaring at Dr. J. Vows that I would save him from this kind of life. Save him from having to go to war, and save myself from losing the one part of my husband that I had so needed to keep.   
  
"For one year you will have custody, then we will be taking him. He will have no ties, no family. We need him to be perfect."  
  
*To fly away to you there.*  
  
He was perfect. Oh, he was so completely perfect. The first time I saw him my heart broke for being given pure joy wrapped in a blanket only to have the knowledge that he would be taken from me again and there would be nothing I could do to prevent it. His dark brown hair stuck out in all directions as his father's had, but he had my eyes. They were clear and a beautiful ocean blue. He looked up at me with such a wise expression on his tiny face all I could do was cling to him and sob. What had I done to our family? I felt guilty, as if I hadn't done all I could in trying to escape. Perhaps if I had ran faster, or longer, or chose a different room to hide in, I could have gotten away. I wanted to keep him so badly, keep him safe and take him away from here. But I knew that there would be no way I could do that. The only thing I could do was enjoy the short time I had with my only child.  
  
I named him Taikai. His father had been the wind, and he would be the ocean. There is nothing on Earth or any colony that I loved more than I loved that little spirit who was my son. I told him as much at least every fifteen minutes, and he understood. I know he did. Those eyes were so pure, so intelligent, he had to have known what I was saying.   
  
We stayed in the rooms where I had lived throughout my pregnancy. Once again locked tight behind the door and visited twice a day by the same unknown soldier who had been my only companion for all those months. I never knew his name, and I never cared to. My only thought was to teach Taikai all I could about love and life and who he was and thinking about how I was to save him. I never saw the soldier who had tried to help me escape again. He might have been put to death, or imprisoned, or he might have escaped himself. I will probably never know, but I did not think of him either.   
  
Dr. J had told me that I would have my son for a year, but they took him five months too soon. They took him from me the very day he said his first word, and I believe that was because his first word was, "mommy." They didn't want him to have a mommy, and if he recognized who I was it would make it more difficult for them. They had only allowed him to stay with me for as long as they had because I could care for him best. And I'm sure that taking care of an infant was not a wanted job for any soldier in the entire base.   
  
I did not know where they took him. Dr. J never told me where he was, but he did give me updates now and again. However, they were not what I wanted to know. He gave me statistics and figures of his training when all I wanted to know was what made him laugh and what he was afraid of. When he was five he spoke more languages than I do. And when he was ten I was allowed to see him. Not for very long, and not directly, it was over a monitor, but I could see him. I didn't know the reason this privilege was given to me. Maybe Dr. J was so proud that his "experiment" was doing so well he had to share it. I really didn't care why he chose to show me, I was so elated to be able to.  
  
He was still small, so tiny in that room. It appeared to be a place of training. There were bullet holes in the white walls, and the entire thing was set up to resemble a rather complex jungle gym. Taikai stood in the exact center with his hands behind his back, as if waiting for something. Dr. J stood at my side, a smile on his face. I ignored him once I saw my son over the monitor. I rushed close, placing my hand on the screen and whispering his name.   
  
"Amazing isn't he?" Dr. J smirked.   
  
"Why are you showing me this?" I heard myself whisper, wanting to be closer, wanting to hold him and tell him that I loved him, to let him know who I was and take him far away.  
  
"I want you to understand what we mean to do and why it needs to be done. And I want you to see how splendid your son has become." He was splendid, but seeing him was torture. Dr. J spoke into an intercom on the wall, allowing Taikai to hear him.  
  
"Heero," he said in a rough voice of command. "Go through the sequence." The boy gave a curt nod and pulled a gun as if from no where. He went through a series of shooting different targets as they snapped up about the room with such a precision it made me shudder to watch.   
  
"That is not his name," I pointed out as I watched with my hand on the screen.  
  
"It is now." There were real men coming at him now from different entrance points in the room. Taikai, Heero now, twisted and ducked and ran in a perfected assassin's stride. One of the soldiers made a quick shot, the fastest I had ever seen, and the boy couldn't duck fast enough. I realized then that the soldiers were using real bullets as blood slid from the graze along his arm.   
  
"Stop them!" I screamed, turning to see Dr. J already in motion.  
  
"Unacceptable," he spoke into the com unit as the soldiers made their exit from the training room. Taikai, hand over the wound, went back to the center to receive his chastisement. I couldn't believe it. Of course he had been wounded against such odds. "You'll practice again tonight." The boy nodded, looking at the floor. I wanted to see his face, his eyes, but he wouldn't turn his face toward me.  
  
"What about his arm?" I was incredulous to his indifference. "Why would you allow them to use real bullets?"  
  
"We need him to be perfect."  
  
"Let me treat the wound."  
  
"Out of the question."  
  
"You can't taunt me like this with a monitor. I need to see him. Let me treat him. I'll be his doctor, not his mother." At this point I was willing to pretend I was anyone if it would give me a chance to be with my son. "Dr. J please, let me. I still love him." He might have been looking at me behind those glasses, but I had no way of knowing.   
  
"His name is Heero, and you are his doctor. Not a word, you will be watched." It has been sixteen years that I have known Dr. J, and sometimes he is almost human. He tapped the com unit again. "Heero, report to medical." The boy gave another nod and left the room. I would have thanked him, but I didn't feel right begging for the chance so see my own son, there wasn't any way that I was going to thank anyone for it. I hurried away from Dr. J, just in case he decided to change his mind, to the medical lab.  
  
*And only forever can I say I love you.*  
  
He was already there when I opened the door, sitting on the ridiculous medical table with his hand over his arm. He looked up at the sound, and I lost the smile I had been wearing. It wasn't him. Those were not the eyes that belonged to my son. He was someone else, made into someone new and dangerous. This was not Taikai. This was Heero, not even truly human, only a creation of Dr. J.  
  
I bit down on my lip to stop its trembling, forcing the smile back into place. He couldn't know who I was, and he probably wouldn't even believe me if I told him.  
  
"Hi," was the only word I could say to him, even though I wanted to tell him so much more. "I'm Dante." He looked at me seriously, considering me so completely that it made me self conscious. How could those eyes have changed so much? Where was the emotion? They were still clear, so piercingly clear, and deep with wisdom, but there simply was nothing else. No pain, no love, not anything that would betray what he was feeling. If indeed he could feel anything at all.   
  
I swallowed hard to force the urge to weep down. Taikai did not acknowledge my distress at being with him. I know he noticed, for there was nothing those eyes did not see, but he chose to ignore it. I took his arm to examine it, feeling my heart break. After ten years I still loved him just as much as I ever did, but after ten years, he no longer knew what the word meant.  
  
*And only forever have I lost you.*  
  
"There, you're done." I tied off the bandage after I had cleaned and stitched up the slit. I wished he would cry out or at least wince in pain, letting me know that he had kept at least part of his mortality. He never moved, and never said a word. I could give him no comfort, and I could say nothing to him.   
  
I wanted to tell him everything, but I knew very well what would happen if I did. I would either be killed or never allowed to see him again. I didn't want that to happen, so I didn't say anything. But when I had finished and he had jumped down from the table, he looked at me. Looked at me intently with those deep blue eyes. There was no recognition in them, but I felt something pass between us.  
  
"Thank you, Dante," he said. They were the first words I had heard him say since he had murmured, "mommy" ten years ago. His voice had changed as well. It was dark, ominous, not belonging to a young boy, but a soldier. A perfect soldier.   
  
"You're welcome," I paused on the verge of saying his name. His real name, not the one that Dr. J had given him. He noticed the hesitation, and raised a quisitive eyebrow looking like his father with the gesture. "Heero." I finished in a sigh, breaking our gaze. He nodded, fingered the bandaged arm, and walked past me out of the room. I began to clean up, allowing my tears to fall unhindered.   
  
I heard someone enter a moment later, and turned to find Dr. J considering me with his flashing glasses.  
  
"Are you satisfied?" He asked in a calm steady voice. I knew then why he had allowed me near my son. He wanted to prove to me that Taikai was no longer anyone's child, and that I was foolish to think that anything could bring us together after what had been done to him. The only thing I could do was nod, not trusting myself to say anything.  
  
"The Gundam is nearly finished," he went on, ignoring the trails of tears down my cheeks. "Would you like to see the product made by your husband's hands?" I shook my head, not wanting to see anything that would begin the destruction of the planet that used to be my home.   
  
"The colonies owe you much, Dante. You've no idea how much you've done for them." I turned away, wanting him to leave me alone. I didn't care about the colonies. They had never cared for me. They had killed my husband, taken my son, and destroyed my spirit. Everything had gone so badly. I heard Dr. J snicker behind me, and then his footsteps as he left the room. I wrapped my arms around myself, the only thing I could see was the cold depths of Heero's eyes. He was no longer my Taikai, and I found I could not call him by that name, even in my mind.   
  
I knelt down on the floor, rocking back and forth. He was going to war, and I would more than likely never see him again. He had left me a long time before, never to return. My shoulders shook with my sobs. I'd lost him forever, and I had never known him to begin with.   
  
*But only a dreamer could wake up, as I do,  
And hope it's still yesterday.*  
  
I held the flower Heero had left behind so tightly my hand was shaking. I wanted to go back to the beginning. Back to the days when Kit was alive, and I was happy. I wanted to go back in time and prevent his death. How our lives would have been changed for the better. "Oh Kit," I murmured as I knelt there next to the bed, alone and sorrowful. "My wishes are useless, and my dreams won't come true in this place. I can't help him, only you can watch over him now. Keep him safe until I can tell him the truth." I kissed the flower, smiling softly as I remembered the roses, and tucked it into a book. I could not keep Heero, but I could keep the flower and remember him forever.  
  
*Touch the wind.*  
  
Heero stood alone on the beach, watching the sun set over the ocean for the first time. Dante had been right. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever witnessed. He breathed in deeply, smelling the fresh tang of salt on the breeze. The soft wind ruffled his hair, and pulled the waves up around his ankles in gentle sweeps. The terrors he had faced upon coming to the planet faded into the coming night. He could retrieve the Gundam later, he could take care of that girl later, his mission could wait until the morning. For now there was simply him and the perfection of nature. He spread his arms out to either side, enjoying the wind.   
  
*Catch my love as it goes sailing.*  
  
The ocean made him think of Dante. He had left Hana's flower behind for her, though he didn't know why. He felt that she should have it. She was pure and good, like Hana had been. His throat tightened as he thought of them. They were the only people in all space that he felt anything for. Dante had told him to live by his emotions, but he couldn't tell them apart anymore. He knew the names, anger, compassion, fear, love, but he could not understand what each felt like. The wind blew across his cheek, just as a tear slid down his face. He had no reason to weep, but he couldn't stop. He crouched down, hugging his knees, wondering why. The waves swept about him in sympathy, but he felt alone. Usually that didn't bother him, but he wanted someone to share in the simple beauty of the water. Dante would understand, she seemed to understand him better than anyone. She looked at him differently, and he remembered as he looked up at the stars that she had said that she loved him. No one had ever told him that. Dante was special that way. She knew who he was, while he had yet to find that out for himself.   
  
*I'll be easy to find.*  
  
Who was Heero Yuy anyway? He was a soldier, and a terrorist. But who came before Heero Yuy? Was there someone else? He suspected very strongly that Dante could tell him the answers to his questions, but he didn't know if he would ever get back to the colonies alive. Does it really matter, Heero? He asked himself as he crouched there. Do you really want to know? He considered it, watching the stars, cold and distant, then studying the warm sunlight as it trickled behind the water. Yes, he told himself, I do want to know. I want to know who I am. He decided then that he did want to live through this, if he could, so he could return to the colonies, free and strong, to discover himself. To find the soul of Heero Yuy before it had been taken from him, and he had a pretty good idea of where to start looking.   
  
*On the wings of the morning I'll go sailing.*  
  
He stayed on the beach all that night, thinking of himself, and of the Gundam. Wing was all he had known. Wing was all he had lived for. Wing was the tool with which he would free the colonies, and in the process free himself. He was the heart of the Gundam, and the Gundam was the heart of the colonies. That is who you are, Heero, the wind whispered with the dawn. You are the heart of space. That thought made him smile. There was more to it than that, but this revelation was a beginning. He could search more after he had accomplished his mission and returned to ask Dante the questions he'd been asking himself all night long. He stood against the sunrise, purpose making him determined to fight and win. He would take the Gundam Wing and liberate his soul.  
  
*And I'll be close to you.*  
  
The last stars faded with the bright light of the sun as Heero walked along the beach. They were so cold compared to the brilliance and strength of the largest of the midst. The sun outshone them all. As each winked out they seemed to ask him who he was, as they had been asking him for all his life. He was ready for it this time. Taking a deep breath, and allowing the breeze to blow his hair in his eyes, he smiled. His code name was Heero Yuy, but he had the spirit of the wind. . .and Dante's ocean in his eyes.   
  



	3. Return to Innocence: Dante's Promise

  
  
Return to Innocence: Dante's Promise  
by: Karin  
shinigamis_wings@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: Oh my goodness, I get to claim something! Dante belongs to me. I made her up and get to take credit for her. *wow* As for Heero and the other Gundam Wing cast I seem to have picked up from, oh, somewhere, but I'll return them when I'm finished in perfect condition. Oh yes, and the song "Return to Innocence" came from Enigma, but it was so splendid I wanted to put it to good use.  
  
Summary and Notes: The war has ended and Dante and Heero get to be reunited! Oh excellent. However, there will be some difficulty. By the way, according to my fic, that very last part of Endless Waltz where Heero is walking alone by himself, that doesn't happen. I don't want him alone, he shouldn't be alone, and I'm going to do something about it.   
  
  
"Love, devotion, feeling, emotion."  
  
"It's over!" Came a joyous cry through the colony base, carried past the bleak corridors on a relieved gust of opening doors and soldiers clapping each other's shoulders. "They've done it. The Gundams have done it!" Dante breathed in her own sigh of relief as she sank back into her chair, exhausted by the events of Christmas Eve. He's done it, she thought to herself. He's won for us. A surge of pride at his accomplishment made her unable to sit still, and she found herself standing to rush out of the room. Dr. J was the only thing in her way, blocking the exit and staring at her.   
"Where are you going, Dante?" He asked, his glasses flashing. She didn't even need to think before she had her answer. He was no longer a threat to her, and she was no longer going to be a prisoner.  
"I'm going to Earth," she cried out the words, giving her new motivation. She brushed past him, not sparing him a second glance as she danced through the hallway. None of the soldiers bothered her, and she walked outside of the base for the first time in seventeen years. "And I'm going to find my son," she whispered, looking up to the colony skylight where she could see the planet far off set among the stars. There wasn't a force in the world or space that could keep them apart now. She was free, the colonies were free, and now it was Heero's turn to be liberated. She was going home where he could learn her secrets, and they could begin again.  
"I'm coming, Taikai," she thought to herself as she boarded a leaving space vessel. She had a bank account that had been accumulating interest for quite some time, and now she was going to need it. "You can be free at last."   
  
"Don't be afraid to be weak."  
  
If only everything could be as simple as it should be. She soon learned that finding Heero would prove to be very difficult. The port in which she docked was crawling with people, families, refugees, and so many soldiers. How would she ever find him? This was only one port, and the Earth was an enormous planet. True, the Gundams had been in this area for the actual fighting, but why would they have remained after it was all over? Her new found hope quickly changed to disappointment and frustration. In all these people, in all this world, who would know a young boy with the code name Heero Yuy?  
She collapsed onto a bench after running about asking every soldier she found if they knew the where abouts of the Gundam pilots. They could tell her where she could find him. But the problem was that no one seemed to know. Yes they had been in the front lines of the battle, and yes they had saved many lives, but no one knew where they had gone after that.   
"That's the thing about the Gundams," one of the soldiers told her with a wink. "They disappear." How foolish she had been to think that he would be waiting for her. He probably didn't even remember her, or cared what happened to her.   
She shook her head. She had to find him, but the odds were very much against her. Where would he have gone? What would he be doing? How could she know so little about her own son that she wouldn't know anything about him and therefore could not find him? It had been two years since she had last seen him. Why, she didn't even know if he was still alive. Her throat tightened with that thought. He might have been killed.   
"Excuse me, sir?" She waved at another soldier who was walking past, an expression of goofy relief over his young features. "Can you tell me what happened to the Gundam Wing?" He looked at her as if she had lost her mind. "Please, it is very important. I need to find out what happened to it."  
"It was destroyed."  
"And the pilot? What about the pilot?" Her words were coming faster now as fear gripped her heart. Had she come all this way just to find him dead? He had made it so far, had done so much, he deserved to know what she had to tell him. And she felt that she deserved something too. She deserved the right to be what she had always wanted to be, his mother.   
"He was killed, I guess," the soldier shrugged moving away from her as if she was a lunatic. "I don't think anyone would have been able to survive a crash like that made." Crash, killed, it couldn't be. She covered her face with her hands, rocking slightly back and forth. It wasn't true, it just had to be a mistake. He couldn't be dead. But if he was alive, why was she so afraid?  
  
"Don't be proud to be strong."  
  
"Are you all right, ma'am?" Came a voice from above and a hand was placed on her shoulder. She looked up to see a young man dressed in jeans and a black turtleneck, looking at her with concerned green eyes.   
"I've just lost my world," she heard herself whisper as she looked down to the floor. "And I am not strong enough to bear it." Her son was her life, and if he was gone then there was nothing left for her here. She tried to stand, but the man kept her on the bench with his hands on her shoulders. He knelt to catch her gaze. She looked deep into his eyes, seeing how strong he was, and wishing she could be as brave to face a new life alone as was this boy.  
"Trowa!" Came a voice from behind them, causing him to turn around. His name must be Trowa, and he wasn't as alone as she'd thought. A young woman came bounding up to them, a smile of affection painted over her face. "We're almost ready to leave. We have a show to put on tomorrow you remember."  
"I'll be there in a minute, Catherine. I need to help someone first."   
"Okay, but don't be too long. Wouldn't want to leave without you after we just got you back." She gave him a coquettish wink before joining the rest of the motley crew of circus performers that stood ready to board a spacecraft.   
Once she was gone Trowa again returned his gaze to Dante. "You'll make it," he encouraged with such a tone that she believed him. "Someone once told me that if you live by your emotions then you'll be all right." She stopped short in the process of nodding her head. Those words meant more to her than the hope that he had been trying to offer. She gripped his arms fiercely.  
"Who told you that?" She asked in a persistent voice. Who was this boy that he would repeat to her the very words of advice she had given to Heero two years before? Were they connected somehow?   
"His name is Heero Yuy." He was still very calm, as if nothing could excite him, even though her emotions were tangling themselves into a huge knot in her throat.   
"You knew Heero? Do you know where he is now?" Trowa pulled himself from her grasp, backing away a step before answering her question.  
"I don't know." He shook his head.  
"When was the last time you saw him?"  
"When the Wing Zero exploded and crashed."  
"Is he alive?"  
"Why is this so important to you?" He considered her with his unruffled eyes, his gaze so deep that she found it hard to look at him.   
"Because he is my world." Trowa nodded, still looking at her, and she wondered if he could read into her words and knew just how deeply she was connected to Heero.  
"He's alive," he eventually said, beginning to move to join his circus band. "He's the strongest person I've ever known." With that he turned to leave, taking Catherine's hand as she came forward to receive him into the group.   
His assurance left Dante feeling hopeful. Yes, she thought, Heero is strong, and I have to be as well if I am going to find him. But first Dante, you're going to have to find yourself.  
  
"Just look into your heart, my friend."  
  
Earth had changed so drastically in the years that she had been gone, she found herself very lost. But she also found herself questioning if it was just the Earth that had changed. As she roamed the war ravaged streets she wondered what had become of the old Dante. The one who had so much will, so many plans and dreams for the future. She couldn't even remember what those were now. But she knew that if she found her son, she could return to who she used to be, and be reborn.  
"You look like you're lost," someone addressed her as she meandered about the city. She looked about until she saw a young man, dressed completely in black, leaning against a lamp post with his arms folded and a sarcastic grin on his face. "Can I help you with something?"  
"I don't think so," she replied, looking up at the night sky, thinking about so many things that might or might not be. "I'm looking for the ocean in the stars." It was an impossible thing to do, but she had been trying on the colony for seventeen years. There was no ocean in the stars, and there was no place for her among them either. The boy scratched his head, walking toward her, and it was then that she realized his hair trailed to his knees in a long chestnut braid.   
"You've got it backward," he told her, still smiling. "You always look at the stars reflected off the ocean. Come on, I'll show you." For reasons she didn't know, she followed the boy to the edge of town, to where the beach lay in silence and dark. He made so much sense. That was why she had lost her dreams. She'd been living her life on the wrong side of a mirror. Trying to see the ocean in the stars, when her place had always been near the ocean, watching the starlight reflect. That was why she had been so miserable in space, because the wind blew the waves only on Earth. This is where the wind had carried her. This was the place they belonged. This is where she belonged, because after Kit died, he had taken her heart with him, to bury it in the ocean and wait for her to come home.  
  
"That will be the return to yourself."  
  
"I haven't seen a sight like this for over fifteen years," she whispered as she looked over the water, watching the light shimmer as the waves swept in and out. The breeze blew in from far off, where the moon touched the sea, and blew her hair back from her face. She closed her eyes, breathing it in. "Yes, Kit," she said to herself, ignoring the young man beside her. "I've come home, but where is Taikai?"  
"Taikai?" The boy cut into her thoughts, and she opened her eyes to look at him.   
"My son. It was him that I meant when I said I was looking for the ocean among the stars." The boy watched her with a curious expression on his face. But it was helping her much to think these things through out loud. Things she had kept to herself for far too long. "He'd be about your age now. I came to Earth to find him."  
"He was a soldier then?" She smiled softly, silently thanking this unknown boy for humoring a crazy old woman like her.   
"Yes," she sighed, closing her eyes and remembering. "He was the perfect soldier." The young man took a step closer, his eyes following the dark sweeping of the waves.  
"I know someone like that," he nodded. "He had eyes that looked like the ocean, but his name wasn't Taikai."  
"No, it wouldn't have been. He calls himself Heero Yuy." The boy gasped in amazement, turning to point at her, his mouth opened to a shocked "oh."  
"You," he stuttered, looking at her from head to heel. "You're Heero's mother?"  
"Well, yes," her eyes grew hopeful. "Do you know where he is?" He shook his head, still staring at her in wonder.   
"No," he finally muttered. "But I do know someone who can find him for you." Dante's heart leaped up in thanksgiving. She was so happy that she grabbed the boy in a tight hug before she knew what she was doing, repeating "thank you, oh thank you so much," over and over again.  
When she finally pulled away, the boy stepped back, his eyes haunted as if he had never been hugged before. He might not have been for all she knew. "Come on," he said in a sad, little voice. "I'll take you to her right away." Those eyes were the color of deep cobalt, and they carried a secret hurt that she hadn't noticed before. As if this boy wished his mother would come back looking for him. She wanted to ask him of her, but changed her mind at the last moment.  
"I'm Dante," she said instead as the boy began to lead the way off the beach. He half turned, his smile back in position as if the previous expression had been nothing but her imagination.  
"I call myself Duo Maxwell." He jerked his head, beckoning her onward to find the person who could lead her to her son.  
  
"The return to innocence"  
  
Duo led her to the largest house she'd ever seen. Most of the windows were dark, but the main room was still ablaze with light. Together they walked up the porch steps to ring the doorbell. An old man answered, asking them what they needed.  
"We have to speak to Relena." Duo said promptly, twisting an old black cap in his hands. "This woman needs to ask her about something." They were admitted into a beautiful parlor room where a young blonde man sat playing the piano. Dante smiled to hear the notes that followed each perfect motion of the boy's fingers, and relaxed into one of the soft chairs.   
"Duo!" Cried the boy, standing quickly to go over to the other's side. "What are you doing here?"  
"Just running an errand for Heero," the other replied, nodding in Dante's direction and giving the musician a wink. "What about you Quatre? I thought you were going home to take over the family business." Quatre held his hands up and laughed.  
"I am, I am, but my flight doesn't leave until tomorrow. Relena was nice enough to let me stay here." Dante watched them and felt her heart ache. These boys were soldiers too, but their eyes shone with hope and love, more emotion than had ever been in Heero's eyes. It made her wonder if she could ever have him back with the same expression as he had worn during the first seven months of his life. The way these boys laughed, so purely and effortlessly, made her wish ever harder that things could have been different for Heero. She wanted to hold him then, tightly, and give him back the childhood he had lost, and free the soul that had been locked away for so long. She wanted to bring him back his innocence. She wanted to take the laughter of these pilots and use it to give Heero back his ability to feel.  
  
"If you want then start to laugh."  
  
"Why Duo, it's you," came a feminine voice from the entryway of the parlor. "Oh, but who have you brought with you?" Dante rose to shake hands with the young woman. Her eyes and smile were sweet and pure too. Dante had never seen such eyes as belonged to these children, and wondered idly if her own were as dead as she thought they were.  
"I'm Dante," she introduced herself, feeling very old while in the company of such vibrant youth. "I need to ask you something important."  
"My name is Relena Peacecraft, and you may ask me anything."  
"Can you tell me what happened to Heero Yuy?" A confused look flashed over her pretty features, and for a moment Dante was terrified that she didn't know who she was asking about.  
"Yes," she nodded finally, chewing on her bottom lip. It made Dante nervous to see her become so serious with the mention of his name. "But why are you looking for him?"  
"Because she's his mother," Duo answered for her, grinning as he watched both Relena's and Quatre's mouths drop open. Apparently the idea of Heero having any sort of family was ridiculous.  
"That's right," she affirmed. "And I must find him. I need to tell him some important things about himself." Relena looked like she wanted to hear those important things too, her eyes gone curious and thoughtful. "Please, do you know where he is?"  
"Yes," she drawled. "I can take you to him. Do you wish to go now?" Dante's eyes gained their old fire with those words.  
"Yes," she cried, tears of happiness streaming down her cheeks as she took Relena's hand in gratitude and laughing at the same time. "Please, let's go as soon as possible.  
  
"If you must then start to cry."  
  
The elderly man that Relena addressed as Pargan drove them in a pink car to what seemed a hospital. That made Dante's heart skip as she stood in the parking lot, waiting impatiently for the young girl to get out. The boys had stayed behind at the house, discussing plans for the future after the war. Relena kept giving her sideways glances when she thought the older woman wasn't looking. It made Dante wonder why. It was as if she didn't trust her, like she would take something special away.   
Relena's confidence as she walked briskly through the spotless clean hallways of the hospital made it clear that she had gone this way many times. There was some connection between this little rich girl and Dante's son, but she didn't bother asking. She was too preoccupied with Heero.  
"Is he here because of the crash?" She asked the girl as they walked. It seemed they had put her son far within the walls, and it was taking a long time to get there.  
"He just collapsed," she explained, looking at Dante from under her eyelashes. "He was with me at the very end. He said that he didn't have to kill anymore, and then he just collapsed." She ducked into a room, a dark room with all the shades drawn and all the lights off. It reminded Dante of the cold, bleak bedroom he had lived in all his life.   
Heero was still small, but so perfectly muscled. The doctors had connected him to a life support system and a heart monitor. There was an IV attached to his arm, and a bandage around his head. His eyes were closed. Dante moved close, slipping her hand into his. She'd found him at last, but he didn't even know it yet.   
"He's in a coma," Relena told her from her place at the foot of the bed. It was as if she was afraid to come any closer. "They don't think he's going to live, but they couldn't, you know, until they found out who he was." Dante did know. They couldn't pull his life support without consent from some family member, even if he stayed in the room for a year.  
"Could you. . .I want to be alone with him for a moment." Relena licked her lips, but she did nod and walk out. Dante looked at the unmoving form of her son. How much he had sacrificed for others. Could she teach him to live for himself? Beyond that, would he live at all? A tear dropped onto his hand, and the fact that he did not respond to it made her break down completely.  
  
"Be yourself, hold tight."  
  
She couldn't lose him. Not now when she'd just gotten him back. Why was the world so cruel? She'd waited so long, had come all the way here, had beaten the odds to find him, and now she couldn't even speak to him. Patience, Dante, she told herself, wiping her eyes and commanding her emotions under her control. You have to be patient. He's going to live.   
"Miss Dante," Relena poked her head in. "We need to get going. You can stay at my home if you want."  
"No, thank you. I'm going to stay here with him until he opens his eyes." Relena gave her a look that clearly meant that she expected him never to open his eyes again, but she did nod and Dante could hear her footsteps as they receded down the hall.  
A short time later a night nurse came in to find her still there, sitting with her hand over that of the boy's.   
"Excuse me, ma'am," the woman began, coming into the room. "But I can't allow you to stay here."  
"I'm not going anywhere," Dante didn't mean to put the challenge into her tone, but she had fought so hard to be with her son that she couldn't bear to leave him again.   
"We do have a place that you may stay if you wish to spend the night."  
"I'm not leaving this room."   
"I'm going to have to call security."  
"Then call them," she snarled, standing for confrontation. She didn't want to be this way, but they just couldn't make her leave. Not now, not after so many years.  
  
"Just believe in destiny."  
  
The woman left in a hurry, threatening with each step that she was going to have Dante imprisoned for her conduct. Dante, however, didn't care what she said because there was no way she was setting one foot from the room until Heero opened his eyes.  
"Don't worry, Taikai," she murmured to him over the beep of the heart monitor. "They aren't going to take you away from me again." There was no response, and for a moment she thought she would begin crying again, but before she could security rushed into the room.  
Security turned out to mean four middle aged policemen dressed in Preventeer uniforms with the night nurse smirking behind them with her arms folded. Dante stood her ground beside the bed, glaring at them as if the force of her gaze would be enough to turn them away and leave her alone.   
"For the last time," she said in smooth tones. "I am this boy's doctor, and I am not going anywhere." She would have told them who she really was to him, but knew they wouldn't believe her. He didn't have a mother as far as they were concerned. Not that telling them she was his doctor was effective either. Two of the men caught her arms roughly, and began dragging her from her place beside the bed. "Don't you understand?" She cried, struggling against them. "I can't leave him. What if he wakes up while I'm not there?" Security, however, proved to be mute as well as relentless and without mercy. She grabbed the doorknob, the frame, anything that would prevent them from taking her out. It was childish, and she knew it, but she didn't want to lose him again.  
"What is going on here?" Snapped a voice in a tone demanding attention and obedience. "Let her go before the noise wakes up half the patients." The hands disappeared from her, but they had stepped behind her lest she run into the room again. They had enough trouble getting her out the first time. She looked up to find a young Chinese boy, dressed in their uniform, with a sword at his hip. "Now go. I'll talk to her." The men hurried off, as well as the night nurse. Dante hoped her eyes would express her gratitude much better than anything she could have said.  
"As for you," the boy continued, looking at her very carefully. "What do you need in there?"  
"I'm his doctor," she said quickly, glancing over her shoulder back inside the room to monitor the unconscious form. The boy chuckled, shaking his head.  
"There's more to it than that. Doctors don't fight so hard for most of their patients."  
"And he's my son." His eyes opened wide in surprise then softened into sadness.  
"I'm sorry," he hesitated, then added in a rush. "For the inconvenience we've caused you. I'll be sure that no one will bother you from now on." He bowed to her and hurried away. There was something suspicious about that. He had meant to say something else, but couldn't quite bring himself to it. But as Dante resumed her place beside the bed and listened to the hollow sound of the respirator, she thought she had a guess of what it was.  
  
"Don't care what people say."  
  
The other doctors told her that he more than likely wasn't going to make it. He'd slipped into a coma for unknown reasons and the rest of his body had suffered such injury that it was sure he would be impaired in some way or another.   
"It would be best," one of them told her as she brushed his hair away from his face. "If we were to take him off the life support."  
"Out of the question," she said slowly, not looking at him. Her eyes never left the closed ones of Heero.   
"Even if he does come out of it, there is bound to be brain damage of some kind. He'll be a vegetable."  
"You're not killing my son. He's not like anyone else. He's going to make it." The doctor shook his head at her stubbornness, but left her alone after that.   
She was something of a joke in the place. The crazy woman who had just shown up in the middle of the night claiming to be the unknown pilot's mother. The one who never left his side, and barely spoke to anyone. But they could do nothing about her as the Chinese boy had told them not to interfere with her and that she had full control over what was done to the unconscious boy. Everyone knew that he wouldn't live. Everyone except her.  
But that was wrong, she did know. She was a doctor herself. She could read very well that he was weakening, but she didn't want to admit defeat yet. However, as the days went by her hope grew dim, and the only times she felt better were when Duo decided to come up and visit her, telling her about all the incredible feats of Heero Yuy, and when the Chinese boy, Wufei, would come by to ease her mind with a long game of chess.  
  
"Chose to follow your own way."  
  
Days stretched together in long chains called weeks, and still there was no change. Relena would visit sometimes, but never stayed long. It was as if Dante made her nervous. Dante herself was growing nervous. Never any response. She spoke to him for hours on end, she held his hand, she read him over and over the book she had found on his bedside table.   
"Why won't you come back to me?" She asked him once as rain pelted the windows outside. It had darkened the room and it had darkened her spirits. Duo had come during the fit of tears the question had produced, but he didn't say anything. He leaned against the doorframe and watched them together. He knew the answer. Heero wasn't coming back because he didn't think he had anything to live for. And Dante wasn't letting go because without him she didn't have anything to live for either.   
"You know what they want to do to him, don't you?" She asked from behind her hands. He jumped a bit. Was that directed at him? How did she know he was there in the first place? "They want to remove the respirator."   
"Yeah," he replied. "I know."  
"I think maybe they might be right."   
"I think that you need a little break. What do you say you take a walk for a while. I'll watch him." She bit her lip and stood up. It sounded like a splendid idea to her. She needed a minute to collect herself. "I'll talk some sense into him while you're gone, eh?" She choked out a strangled laugh, wiping her eyes. She wasn't very old, not quite forty, but she was so tired that it made her seem much older. Her ocean blue eyes did not shine, and her black hair was leaning toward gray now. Duo watched her for a moment as she walked down the hall before turning his attention on the boy in the bed.  
"Man are you lucky," he said, taking Dante's chair. "Your mother came back for you. The least you could do is open your eyes to look at her, you know?" There was a small blip on the heart monitor, making Duo's eyes snap to look at it. A grin spread over his face. A reaction! It was minute, but Duo had struck a nerve somewhere, meaning that Heero, or whatever it was that Dante called him, could hear him. That's when the braided boy's attention went back to the respirator. So they wanted to take it out? That might just be the thing to do, but he thought it would have a different effect than the one they were expecting.  
When Dante returned, Duo was folding the tube that had been Heero's source of oxygen for the past two weeks. Her heart jumped in fear. What had he done?  
"Easy," Duo said before she could say anything, holding his hand up in a soothing gesture. "He's fine. The only reason he wasn't breathing was because he didn't have to. I just made it so he had to."  
"That was a risk," she chided, sitting next to him again, watching his chest rise and fall on his own will and feeling a deep sense of relief. Duo shrugged, putting his cap into place.   
"Trust me, you can't kill this guy. Only God knows how many times he's tried to do it himself." That made him snicker. "Anyway, I'll just be going now. Tell those doctors not to give up on him so easily." Dante watched him go, then returned to her vigil. Heero was breathing on his own.  
  
"Don't give up and lose the chance."  
  
She didn't see Duo again after that, and the doctors left her alone for the most part. Although they did still warn of brain damage and the like that she chose to ignore. She wasn't giving up on him now, especially since he was breathing again. Besides, she still wanted more than anything to tell him everything about himself. Who he was, and who she was. Everything.  
The rain had stopped, so she opened the window to allow the wind to rustle the curtains and blow across her face. She loved the wind, in more than one sense of the word. And it cleared away the dead air of the hospital with its fresh scent. Heero breathed it in deeply, almost sighing, and his right hand twitched.   
Dante wasn't sure if she had really seen it happen or not, so she hurried away from the window, willing him to do it again. But it didn't move. She was just beginning to think that it had all been her imagination when he favored her with what she had been waiting for all along. He opened his ocean blue eyes and looked at her.   
She heard herself gasp, and she gripped his hand so tightly it was a wonder it didn't hurt him. Tears were pooling at her eyes in gratitude, streaking down her cheeks before she could stop them. He was awake, he was alive, he was saved. And he was different. Since she had wanted to look into them so long, Dante paid special attention to his eyes. They were no longer dead. They carried deep confusion in them, and it was a beautiful thing to see. Any emotion, confused or otherwise, was a great improvement to what she had seen in them the last time.  
"You're going to be all right," she assured him, patting his hand and smiling like an idiot.   
"I'm sorry," he croaked in a voice that hadn't been used in a long time. "Do you know me?"  
  
"Your return to innocence."  
  
"Not as well as I should, but yes I know you." She was trying very hard to keep her emotions under control, but her joy was so great it was becoming very difficult to stay calm for him.  
"Could you tell me who I am?"   
"Don't you remember?"  
"Not a thing." He'd lost his memory. What a blessing he'd been given with that. The horrors of his childhood were gone. The terrors of war were eradicated. Even Hana was unknown to him now. They could start all over. He had his life back. And he had his freedom and his mother back as well.  
"Your name is Taikai Kitayori," she told him, pausing to kiss his forehead. "And you are my son." The breeze blew their hair across their faces from the open window, and the sunlight made the hospital a different place. A tear dripped from Taikai's eye, landing somewhere on the pillow.  
"I think I've always wanted to hear you say that," he said in a small voice, one that Heero Yuy would never have used because it carried too much feeling.  
"Oh there are lots of things that I've been wanting to say, but the first is that I love you." Another tear found its way to the pillow, though he probably didn't know why he was crying.  
"I've always wanted to hear that too," he said. Then he smiled one of Kit's rare, genuine, beautiful smiles that shone over his features and made him look exactly like his father. And Dante knew that he would be able to laugh as well. He would be able to laugh as purely as Duo, be as wise and caring as the boy named Trowa, love with the trust of Quatre, and live in the justice of Wufei. He was free, and he would live on where the stars met the sea. For he was the heart of space named for the ocean of earth, and the son of the long lasting wind.  
  
"That's not the beginning of the end."  
"That's the return to yourself."  
"The return to innocence."  
  



	4. Kissed by the Wind: Dante's Rose

  
  
Kissed by the Wind: Dante's Rose  
by: Karin  
shinigamis_wings@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: I knew this was the reason I was writing this. I get to claim some characters. Not many, but Dante is my little creation, and so is Kitayori. And Yoru Tsukai is mine too. I wouldn't have claimed him, but he got a lot cooler all of a sudden because I gave him a name. What do you know about that? As for everyone else, lines, situations, places, etc., were taken from Gundam Wing and don't belong to me. And the song "Etcetera, Whatever" was not written by me either. But it fit rather well.   
  
Summary: I know the Dante Trilogy is supposed to be a trilogy, but while chatting with Jilly-chan she gave me the most splendid idea and I just had to write an epilogue, or can it be the Dante Quartet now? The Dante Trilogy plus one? Er, what time is it? Anyway, this is going to be serious, honest, I'm going to see what would happen when Taikai starts wondering about his past . . .more specifically, about his father. *plays spooky music* *slaps herself. .Karin! Serious now!! You need to focus!* Hai master subconscious. *mutters* She never lets me have any fun. *ahem* oh let's just get on with it!  
  
*Don't speak. Words come out your eyes. You're wet with this nightmare.*  
  
He heard the cries through the drowsy haze of midnight. Heard the cries through the cloud of sleep. Heard the cries of a thousand tortured nights being relived in flashes of agony. Loneliness, frustration, loss, sorrow, and more, each strained soft cry expressing more emotion than any of a million words possibly could hope to begin to describe. Those were the cries of his poor mother, Dante. Dante, who lived on only by breathing the scent of the ocean salt, and watching the tide rise and flow in the eyes of her son.  
  
Her footsteps were in the hall now, hurried and desperate, rushing into his room to assure herself that he was still there. Every night. She needed to do this every night. He closed his eyes, allowing her to believe that he was still peacefully dreaming, that she hadn't woken up, that her pain was still safely hidden from him, the way she was still trying to keep his past from him. The door opened and closed, and little circulation of air told him that she was kneeling at his bedside, watching the moon shine over his face. Her lips were soft and gentle on his forehead, though a teardrop fell onto his cheek and her breathing was harsh in relief.   
  
"I'd thought I had lost you again," she murmured, not knowing he could hear her. "But they won't ever take you back, Taikai. I won't let them take you away from me." Taikai had no idea who "they" were, no recollection of anything before Dante's teary eyed smiling face above him in the hospital room, where she had said she loved him. There was a past here that he could not get her to say, despite the number of questions he had asked. She always shook her head, smiling sadly.  
  
"Leave the past in the past," she always said, her hand gently on his arm. Exactly over an old bullet scar, one of many. "Where it belongs." But she didn't leave the past behind, she went through it every night, trying her best to keep it from him, and laughing away his questioning eyes when he found her in the morning on his bedroom floor.   
  
*Like thorns you hold these secrets to your breast, your slender fingers closing into fists*  
  
But not tonight. It was time to change this routine, before his mother destroyed herself by keeping these horrible secrets. And they must be truly horrible, or she wouldn't be so reticent. She shared everything with him, everything except what he really wanted to know. He sat up, choking off her sobs as she jerked in surprise.   
  
"Dante," he whispered softly, holding out his arms and beckoning her up onto the bed so he could hold her, protect her, chase away her shadows. He called her by her first name, always, something inside of him not being able to call her mother out loud. He didn't understand why, but that was how it went. "What was it?" His soft tones and gentle embrace only made her sob harder, pressing herself against him as if it would kill her to be too far away. This, he thought, was the real reason he hadn't gone on with his life yet. This was the reason he still lived at home, with no thoughts of ever finding a girlfriend or starting a family of his own. He had to fix the one he had first, and she was tearing herself apart. "Tell me," he pleaded, helplessness being the one emotion he couldn't stand above all others. Sorrow, hate, anger, he could handle all of those, even all at once. But to feel useless was the worst of all.  
  
"Just a bad dream," she hiccuped, looking very small and child-like curled up against him. "A very bad dream, but it's over now." He shook his head. Why wouldn't she tell him what it was? What was so terrible that she had to keep it locked away where it was doing her so much damage? Put the burden on me, Mom. I'm stronger than you are, we can share it together. You don't have to take it all alone.   
  
"What made it so bad?" She shuddered, looking out at the ocean through the window as if beseeching it for strength.   
  
*Trace your bruise like a guilty streak. Hold the pain. You're a connoisseur.*  
  
Her fingers trailed over his arm until they came to rest on the old bullet graze. The small scar, flanked by tiny pinpricks where it had been sewn together, that she always looked at when she didn't want to tell him something.   
  
"Where did I get that scar?" He'd asked the first time she had done it, and she blushed.   
  
"You were a soldier," was the only thing she said. "Doubtless you were shot sometime during the war." But the way she uttered the phrase, so rehearsed, left him without a doubt that this was far from the truth. Sure, he had been a soldier, but he couldn't have been an ordinary soldier. He'd had dreams of his own, and they didn't match with her explanations.  
  
"I couldn't find you," she murmured against his sleep shirt. "You were lost amidst a thousand mobile suits. That's all it was, Taikai." There was his name again. She always said it unnecessarily, sometimes saying it for no reason at all to herself. It was as if she were trying to reassure herself that it was indeed his name. She herself had given it to him, what was there to fear that it wouldn't be his? He shook his head again.  
  
"How long?" He asked out loud, bringing her attention and dark blue eyes back up to consider him. "How long are you going to keep this from me? Don't I deserve to know?" But seeing what it did to her, did he really want to know?   
  
"Keep what from you, Taikai?" Her question was innocent, but the fear in her voice betrayed her.   
  
"What I really did during the war. Why you always trace this scar. Who gave you that faded yellow flower you keep in that book. Who was I before I was your son?" Her small body tensed, ever tighter with every question. He'd asked them before, numerous times, but never all at once and never with such force. It has to be out in the open, he told himself, no more secrets or it will kill her. He shook her, trying to get the answers from her that way. "Tell me!"  
  
"Heero Yuy," she muttered the name as she would a curse, but his body responded as if she had uttered his own name, Taikai Kitayori. "Ask Heero Yuy, he knows all the answers." His mouth dropped open. He knew the name. Why did he know the name?  
  
"Who is he? Where can I find him?" She was finally giving up a bit of information.  
  
"He's dead so let your questions die with him. Please Taikai, trust me, you don't want them answered. Just let it alone. Be content with what you have now." She pushed herself away from him, standing to return to the darkness of her own room, not wanting to say anymore. But he wasn't content. He did want to know. Heero Yuy. A Japanese name, and something that he should know. He knew there was nothing in the house from the past except that book with the faded yellow flower, so he would have to seek out his answers in a different way.   
  
*You think you have no other gift to give, but we have so much left to live.*  
  
There were a few things that he had taken with him from his experience as a soldier. He'd retained the ability to put things together quickly and effectively, and other reflexes that surprised him. But the most important thing that the head injury had not taken from him was his superb computer searching skills. His quick fingers and quicker mind allowing him to research information and erase any documentation of it with a few keystrokes.   
  
His mother was out for her morning swim in the ocean. She'd asked if he wanted to join her, and looked disappointed when he declined. Perhaps she thought he was still upset with her for keeping secrets from him. But in truth he just wanted to look up Heero Yuy without her knowing. This was his secret. This is what he would find out. Without her if necessary, though he wished she would just tell him and save him from having to do this without her permission. Maybe finding out who Heero Yuy was would lead him to find out who he was. . .and then maybe even who his father was.   
  
That was something else that Dante never spoke about. Taikai's father was a subject that was never discussed. The first time he had ever mentioned it, during their first few days together when he was relearning who he was, her trembling hands made her drop the vase of flowers she was setting out. Roses they had been. She had knelt, her black hair hiding her face, but Taikai knew that her tears were mixed in with the vase water despite not seeing them fall. Had he died? Had he been a soldier too? What was it about his absence that caused such a reaction? Curiosity burned within as she picked up the roses, careful not to allow one petal to be cut on the glass shards, but not being as careful with her own hands.   
  
"He's dead," she whispered over the broken vase. "Never ask again."  
  
He never had asked again. Not that particular question. He'd asked instead why she treasured the yellow flower she kept pressed in a book on her bedside table. Had Heero Yuy given it to her? Had his father? Was his father Heero Yuy? Was that the connection? Surely Dante would never have mentioned Taikai's father's name in the house, ever. He'd just have to keep searching.  
  
"Heero Yuy," he whispered at the computer as an old newspaper article flashed onto the screen. He leaned close, scanning a picture of a large, blurred crowd, most of the faces reflecting disbelief and shock. "Colony President Assassinated on Earth" read the heading in bold letters. Colony president? Of course! That's why he knew the name. It was the death of this man that had led to the war to begin with. The war he had fought in. He felt foolish, but oddly dissatisfied. That was the reason he knew the name, but it wasn't the reason either. There was something else. He skipped through the article, wondering how long of a swim his mother would be taking that morning, and how much he could find out before she came back inside. He was just about to go onto another article about the murder, when he saw something that he knew very well. That being his own name.  
  
"Yuy," the article read. "Was attended by Yoru Tsukai and Kitayori of Colony L1. They have assured authorities that military action may not be necessary if the murderer of the president can be brought in." It drawled on, but Taikai was no longer paying attention. Kitayori? His father's name? Why did he have no last name? Or first name rather. He looked more closely at the photograph, seeing for the first time the two men standing protectively before the crowd, keeping them back with outstretched arms. One was short and dark, a stern expression on his features. The other was taller, more handsome, with Taikai's own untidy hair. It was like looking into a mirror. So his father was a colony man, Heero Yuy's body guard. All right. But what had happened after that day? What had he done? Where had he gone? Wait, there was someone else in that picture. Hunched over a sprawled body that could be none other than the wounded president, was his own mother. His mother had been there. She had held the dying man in her lap. She had met his father the day that the colony president died. He didn't know if that was irony or not. So what had happened after that? Obviously they had gotten married, or had they? So Heero Yuy was the reason his parents were his parents. But what did he have to do with anything else? What other part of Taikai's past did this man play in? There would be time for him later. Right now Taikai was more interested in his father. Was he really dead?  
  
He did another search, coming up with a different article this time. Something about a revolution of the colony men, and a mob riot. There were shots fired, and only one killed. Kitayori. There was mention made of Heero Yuy's death, and how the actions taken now for revenge would lead to war if allowed to continue. How the colonies should take the warning shots and death of one of their own and just stay peaceful. There was a quote from Yoru Tsukai, who apparently had been with Kitayori when he was shot. The body was taken to the local hospital, which, Taikai noticed with a touch of surprise, was owned by the Alliance military. The mention of the Alliance made a trace of anger rise in him. So he had been fighting on the colonies' side in the war, he guessed. There was just one more thing that he had to find out. Something that this Yoru Tsukai might know. Why was Dante keeping these past occurrences from him? Why did they have to be secrets? Just one thing he needed to find now. How to get in contact with Yoru Tsukai.   
  
*We don't need a lot of money. We'll be sleeping on the beach, keeping oceans within reach. Whatever private oceans we can conjure up for free.*  
  
Dante breathed deep of the ocean air, crouched in the sand and allowing the waves to sweep over her ankles. The morning sun was drying her hair and skin, leaving behind the tiny particles of salt. She breathed again, feeling a wonderful sense of belonging. This was where she was meant to stay. The wind had been her husband, but the ocean wind was her son.  
  
Her deep breathing turned into a sigh. Her son. Her son who she protected from the past, and kept from him the truth. She'd wanted just to leave it all behind, and forget, but it haunted her. The guilt she felt from keeping it from him. The terror she felt when she woke up in the night and found herself alone. The sorrow when she thought that it would soon be time for Taikai to leave her again, of his own free will, to start his own life. She wasn't ready for that. Perhaps if she had had more time with him from the start she would have been more ready for him to go, but it hadn't happened that way. And what would be left of her when he was gone? What was there left for her without him? She didn't need anything in the world, not money, not power, not a single thing, except the ocean. She needed Taikai more than anything else in the world, but she could never explain to him why it was this way for fear that he would lose the light in his eyes.   
  
*I will stumble there with you and you'll be laughing close with me, trying not to make a scene. Etcetera, whatever.*  
  
When she came in he was seated at his computer, scribbling something on an envelope. She slipped up behind him to investigate what he was researching, and gave herself away with a gasp. She knew that man, that face that stared up at her from the screen. It was the man who had tried to help her escape from Dr. J. What did Taikai want with him? How had he found out about him? What did he know?   
  
"Dante," he soothed after turning to find her behind him. He stood, powerful and dark, hiding the screen with his body and taking her by the shoulders. She looked up at his eyes, his ocean blue eyes, and saw them shine with knowing. "It's all right."  
  
"What's all right?" She demanded, wanting to break away from his grasp. "What are you thinking?"  
  
"I'm thinking that I know why you might have kept this from me. I'm thinking that I wasn't only a soldier, and I'm thinking of looking for Yoru Tsukai to ask about Kitayori. Because I'm thinking he might not be dead." Her heart stopped. Why would he do such a thing? Kit was dead! He had to be. If he wasn't, why hadn't he come back? She shook her head, closing her eyes against the thought. How could he do this to her? Why did he bring up what she had tried so hard to protect him from? Didn't he understand how terrible those memories were? Didn't he realize that there were certain things about his past that she would much rather forget. Things she didn't want to talk about, and things she didn't want him to know. She didn't want to entertain any thoughts of Kit being alive. That would mean that he had abandoned her to Dr. J. That meant he might have brought her to the colonies on purpose, specifically for that reason. Thinking that she was nothing but an experiment made something inside burn, and it didn't get any better when she heard Taikai laugh softly. What on earth was so funny? How dare he mock her pain? How could he possibly understand all she went through for him? How could he possibly understand anything when he'd never been told?  
  
She looked up, angry, only to find him staring down in sympathy. The laugh hadn't been mocking, it was a sad and soothing sound made by someone who didn't know what else to do but to stand still, holding her, and to laugh. She wondered if it was the war that made him that way, or if it was something he had inherited from his father. She paused just long enough to wonder if Kit ever laughed softly when something was wrong. Taikai took her silence for anger at him.  
  
*I guess all I really mean is we're gonna be alright. Yeah, we're gonna be alright.*  
  
"I'm sorry, Dante," he apologized, folding the envelope and sticking it into his back pocket. "I shouldn't have done this without you knowing, but I am going to find Yoru Tsukai. If you're coming, then come, if not I'll go by myself."  
  
"You'd leave me?" She looked at him in disbelief. This was almost like having Heero back. Heero who did things on his own, for his own, because all he had was his own. Not Taikai who had a family and a home and a name that belonged to him. What did he lack? Dante bit her lip. He lacked a father, and he was going to look for him. But why? They'd lived together for a year. It had been a year since the war had ended. A whole year and he had only asked after his father once, and only once. Why did he suddenly think he might be still alive? But that wasn't even the main question for her. The main question was why was she allowing herself to hope that he might be right?  
  
"I don't want to leave you, Dante," he brought her out of her musings. "That's why I asked you to come along, but whether together or alone we have to find out these secrets. It's killing you to keep them yourself, and it would hurt even worse for you to tell them to me out loud. But if I go looking for myself, maybe we can move away. And you can leave your secrets in the ocean and start over. What do you say?" He made so much sense. Of course he would. He had been Heero Yuy, after all. She winced at the name, but the logic was still there. "It'll be all right."   
  
*You can close your eyes tonight, 'cause we're gonna be alright.*  
  
The soft light from the space shuttle ceiling shone delicately over Dante's delicate features while Taikai watched her. She had fallen asleep as a defense reflex, when she could no longer bear to speak to him about Kitayori. Not that she'd said much, nothing he hadn't found out from the article, but she had said it and he had listened.  
  
"You look like him," were the last words she'd been able to mutter before turning away from him, to the aisle, and closing her eyes.   
  
As she slept he pondered again his reasons for this peculiar mission. He had only meant to find Yoru to ask about his father. Had Kitayori known he had a son? Why had he left Dante so unprotected and alone? Was there a good reason? War politics or something equally important. His mother must have loved him, or her eyes would not take on that shine whenever she heard his name. There must have been a good reason. That's why he wanted to find Yoru. He had to know that reason. He just had to know about the man who owned the gravestone burden Dante carried on her shoulders. He had to know about the roses, and the pressed flower in the bedside book. Yoru might not even know, but it was worth a chance. He had been there where Dante had not. He would know what had happened to Kit.  
  
He didn't know why he had brought up the chance that Kitayori might be alive. Perhaps it had been to see his mother's reaction, to try and trick her into giving up a secret. He hadn't known what, just anything that might hint that her previous outburst of, "He's dead!" might have been a lie. Because he wanted it to be a lie. He wanted Kitayori to be alive. He wanted to have a father, and he wanted a husband to take care of his mother because he simply couldn't do it forever.   
  
"Go ahead and sleep, Dante," he whispered to her, soothing her bad dreams away. "We'll unravel this and then we can return to your ocean. You'll never see space again." That was something else. Dante had lived on the colonies before, that's where he had been born, but she hated them. Earth, she always said, was where she belonged, close to the ocean and far away from the stars.  
  
*So come on now, I can almost see that place on a distant shore.*  
  
The colony was so different when compared to earth, Taikai noticed as he walked down the streets, looking at the crowded houses. There were no lawns, only artificially created parks towards the center of the structure. That's why Dante hated it so much. Taikai looked about him, and decided that he didn't care either way. What difference did the scenery make when he had something important to do? And that thought, he decided, was from the soldier that was still inside somewhere.   
  
He'd left his mother at the hotel that morning. She didn't know that he had left, and he thought it better that way. He had invited her to come, but that was before he saw how badly her hands shook when she thought of anything that had to do with his father, or the war, or the colonies. She knew Yoru Tsukai, too, from somewhere, another dark night of an even darker past. For her to see him again might not be the best thing for her to experience, and it gave Taikai purpose to shield her from anything harmful. And that, he also decided, was the soldier again. Being in this colony made all of his soldier instincts come back, in full force. It was as though the colony enhanced all his senses, the artificial grass was a brighter green, each singular leaf standing out in vivid detail. Every slight sound echoed in his mind and the rhythm of his heartbeat was in perfect sync with his footsteps. Had he been stationed here perhaps? On this very colony? Trained here? Maybe even born here?  
  
The address he had managed to find was located close to the park. A typical, stark, and dull colony structure with no curtains in the windows, and no welcome mat on the doorstep. Taikai hesitated only briefly before knocking out his presence, going over in his head again what he was going to ask.   
  
The Japanese man's dark eyes flashed surprise once the door was opened and he stood before Taikai. His mouth moved without sound, then he grabbed Taikai's hand in a fierce grip, pulling him inside the house with force.   
  
"It's you," he kept repeating, sitting him down in a cozy living room. "I can't believe you came back. It's you." It was everything that Taikai had hoped. Yoru knew him! Obviously, he knew him, and had to know something else about him and his father. "Did your mother find you? Oh, I tried to help you to begin with, but she disappeared and then they had her again. She went to find you on earth after the war." His words were so rushed, as if he'd been waiting years to speak them and now had to get them all out at once. "I'm so sorry I wasn't able to save you, Heero." Taikai stopped short in the process of nodding. Heero?   
  
"Taikai," he corrected, gazing curiously at the other man as he sat across from him.   
  
"Right, of course. She would have called you something else. I'm sorry about that." Yoru nodded, repeating Taikai's name and smiling softly.   
  
"Why did you call me Heero?" This was what he really wanted to know. Heero Yuy was the colony president, but it was him too? How did this work? Yoru seemed surprised all over again, then he laughed.  
  
"She didn't tell you anything did she? And you can't remember I suppose? No, I guess not. Lucky to be alive after what happened to your Gundam, I'd say."  
  
"My Gundam?" Oh yes, this visit was indeed very profitable. Yoru was more than happy to answer any questions Taikai might have. And it didn't make his hands shake to talk about it, nor did he say anything in short bursts of pained information like Dante, but long elaborate and very informative explanations.   
  
"You were a soldier, do you remember being a soldier? But you were better than a soldier, you were the perfect soldier." Images began flashing across Taikai's mind. A cockpit. A Gundam cockpit perhaps? Stars whizzing by as he stared from a window of a space shuttle. Flames rising up into the night from military bases. And an image of an elite mobile suit, his Gundam. Wing Zero. "You were trained that way from the moment you could walk, and even before. Dr. J trained you, and he named you Heero Yuy as your codename. Remember?" He did, in a certain fashion. So that's why Dante never told him. She didn't want to remember herself, and he had been someone else other than her son, someone she wanted both of them to forget. Yoru was shaking his head now, as if sorry for something.  
  
"I tried to get your mom out. Tried to help her escape while she was pregnant. I don't know what the colonies would have done if they hadn't had you to fight for them. But your father did not want such a fate for you." Taikai sat up a little straighter, focusing intently on Yoru, waiting for what he would say about Kitayori.  
  
"You were with my father when he died weren't you? That's the real reason I came to you, Mr. Tsukai. I don't care what happened in my past, although what you've told me has cleared up many questions I've always wanted to have answered, but I really do want to know what happened to my father." Yoru scratched his head, his talkative attitude subsiding as he considered the question. Sighing, he got up to retrieve something from an office room down a hall, bringing back with him a black binder.  
  
"I was with your father when he was shot," he began as he sat back down. "But I was not with him when he died. He told me to find your mother, and to take care of her, and then the Alliance men came and took him into the hospital. They wouldn't allow me in to see him, said he was going to die. Said Treize Khushrenada was talking to him, something private that I couldn't hear. Can you imagine? Treize Khushrenada. And when he got done, they said that Kit was already dead and it was pointless to see him now. They promised to send the body to his widow, and they might have, but she wasn't there if they did. Dr. J had taken her to where your father worked by then."  
  
"My father worked for Dr. J?" Had that been why he had been trained by him? "What did he do?" Again Yoru shook his head.  
  
"He was a magician, your father. He was the main engineer and mechanic for the Gundam 01. The one you flew to Earth. It was the only one he ever started. He had plans for something bigger, more elaborate, but Dr. J said it was too dangerous for something so experimental. Wanted to let you take it and find out what it could do first. Then if all went well they were going to build the other one for you to use. But they never got the chance. Kit was dead and the only way the Gundam 01 was finished was by this binder." Which was now being handed to Taikai, who took it carefully in his fingertips, almost afraid of touching it. These were his father's notes, his father's handwriting, his father's work. The plans for the 01, the Gundam he had taken to Earth. His father had built it, or started building it anyway. The maneuvering ability, the buster rifle, the transformation into a space craft, all of these had been designed by his father, with some help from the scientists of course.   
  
"But there were other Gundams," he said softly, still looking at the plans. "The Deathscythe," names were coming from his mouth without him really realizing what he was saying. Pieces of remembered past that were coming up now that he was looking down at the blueprints for his weapon. "Heavyarms, Sandrock, Shenlong. Who designed those? Who built those?" Yoru just shrugged.  
  
"Who could tell? The scientists were all together you know, but they were separated and built the Gundams by themselves. They could have found another mechanic to build them on another colony. Who can say?" He might have talked on, but Taikai was no longer paying much attention. He was thumbing through the blueprints. There were more here than for just the 01. For the other perhaps? The one Dr. J hadn't allowed Kitayori to build? Yes, that must be what this new one was. It was sleek, similar head structure to the 01, but larger wings extending from the shoulders. There was a beam saber, but instead of a buster rifle it held in the other hand a long electric whip. It looked vaguely familiar, the style and weaponry reminded him of something he might have fought or flown, he couldn't remember which, or even if it might have been both.  
  
"Why was the other Gundam never built?" He asked of a sudden, cutting off Yoru's mutterings. He got another shrug.  
  
"I guess Dr. J just didn't want it done. I don't think he and Kit really agreed on it. Dr. J thought it wasn't ethical, or something close to that. Thought it was too dangerous and should never be used, let alone built. The Gundam was bad enough, but to enhance it like Kit was thinking was beyond what Dr. J was willing to do to anyone. Even you." Taikai continued studying the nameless mobile suit Gundam, wondering why it was so dangerous.  
  
"How is Dante?" Yoru finally asked, watching Taikai carefully. "We never heard from her after she left."  
  
"She lives on, but not because she wants to. She didn't want me to come to you. Didn't want me to find out who I was and who my father was. Wanted to protect me, I guess."  
  
"You take care of her. You will won't you?"  
  
"Yes. She's the reason I came. I want us to get on, and we can't do that if she can't leave this behind."  
  
"They were not kind to her. I think I understand a bit how she feels, but I could never go through what she did. She was a prisoner for seventeen years you know. Dr. J kept her locked away so she couldn't tell you who she was." Taikai fingered the bullet graze on his arm. He remembered Dante being there with Dr. J. Remembered how she had helped him after his first mission had gone out of control. He remembered how she had stitched up the wound after a particularly difficult training session. She'd never said a word of who she was. No wonder he remembered almost nothing about her except her sad eyes. And he was the one who had given her that faded flower in the book. Why was she keeping it? He didn't really understand, but now that he knew what it was, he supposed it didn't really matter.   
  
"Speaking of Dante," Taikai said, standing up with the binder. "I'd better get back to her. She'll be wondering why I'm not there. May I take this with me?" He held up the binder.  
  
"Consider it yours." He was ushered to the door, wished a farewell and then he was on his way back to the motel, his nose deep into the binder. What was this suit? It had never been built, but he still thought it was very familiar. He cursed that head wound that had taken all of his soldier memories away. One blow to the head that had erased all of the war, all of himself as Heero Yuy. Perhaps that's why his mother looked at him the way she did sometimes. As if he were someone else. Maybe that was when he was being like Heero instead of Taikai. He turned another page, giving up on being able to remember the name of the suit, not that it would help him any if he did have a name. There were some things about his past that he simply could not remember, despite being prompted by Yoru. There were certain images that he could find, but others were not there for him to see.   
  
He scanned the page, there were many numbers and small notes here. It was part of the cockpit system for the mobile suit on the previous page. Right. That's what it had to be. He tried to decipher the notes, but most of it was in the technical language of scientists and engineers. Wait! There was something there that he knew, and it made him cold all over to read it. Zero System. He took an uneven breath. The Zero System. How could that be? How had . . . .it couldn't be possible. How? He shook his head, then found himself running back to Yoru Tsukai's house with a revelation and a request.   
  
*And courage is a weapon we must use to find some life you can't refuse.*  
  
"What are you doing here?" Dante demanded in a harsh whisper when she answered the door. Taikai wasn't back yet, she still didn't know where he'd gone, and this was the last person she wanted at her hotel room. She found herself backing away, her hand clenched at her abdomen. Yoru Tsukai, that was his name, she had never known. But then she had lost him that night and hadn't seem him again until now.   
  
"Your son asked me to come and give you a message."  
  
"Where did he go? Why did he go to you without telling me?" She just wanted him there so they could go back to Earth. She didn't want to spend one instant longer on the colony than she had to.  
  
"I don't know where he went, but he probably didn't tell you because he knew he would get this reaction." She bit her lip, choking down the next question and forcing herself to calm down. "I have a message for you. He told me to take you back home. He's going to look for something, but he promised to come home as soon as he'd found out what he needed. He knew you wouldn't want to stay here, but he wants you safe. So you get to come with me." She wondered why it was that both her husband and son were always entrusting her into the care of this man. She didn't even know him. But she supposed she could go with him this once.   
  
"How long will he be gone?" She asked, wanting to know everything about where and why he'd left. She hoped he would return soon.   
  
"He didn't say. The only thing he said was for me to take you home and that he had to find the creator of the Zero System."  
  
"Zero System." She hadn't heard about that for many years. That had been the cockpit system for the Wing Zero. Heero had used that system. Had been the only one to be able to use it effectively on a regular basis. Who had created that system? Why did he care? His questions just never ended. First it was the faded flower, then the bullet scar, then his name, to his past, to his father to the Zero System? And they were all connected somehow in a tragic drama. What a melodramatic story her life made, she thought bitterly. She missed Taikai already, and was already praying for him too. But he was gone now and there was nothing for her to do but go with Yoru.  
  
"Why is it?" She asked him as she packed her bag. "That everyone I've ever really loved has just walked out on me and left me to you?" He laughed softly, opening the door for her, taking her bag on her way out.  
  
"I can't answer that, but he'll come back. I don't think he's going on a suicide mission this time." So Dante left the colony to return to her house by the beach. Where she belonged, while Taikai remained behind, chasing some shadow of his past.   
  
*We don't need a lot of money. We'll be sleeping on the beach, keeping oceans within reach. Whatever private oceans we can conjure up for free.*  
  
Taikai did not stay in space, however. He also returned to Earth, but he couldn't tell Dante what he was up to. He remembered the Zero System. He had first come in contact with it when he had fought Quatre in space, but this had to be the source. Luxembourg base. It was abandoned and destroyed now, but it was here that he came to look first.   
  
He had taken pieces of the war for granted. The Tallgeese suddenly being restored in all its original glory. The appearance of the Wing Zero, and the design of the Epyon. But they all had something in common. He had always thought they had been constructed by nameless behind-the-scenes men who had little or no importance to him, but he was dead wrong there. The facts of that mistake were written all over the blueprints in his hand. Kitayori had come up with the design for the Gundam 01. Kitayori had created the Zero System. And Kitayori had been responsible for the building of both the Wing Zero and the Epyon. Taikai was sure of it. Yoru Tsukai had said that Treize had come to speak with Kitayori after he'd been shot. Treize would have asked him what he did, and found out what he could do. And he would have used that. Treize was a player. Treize would have told Yoru that Kitayori was dead, only to take him here, to Luxembourg, to build the most dangerous weapons in the world. More dangerous and more powerful even than the Gundams, which would be the only things that the colonies would have available to them. Yes, this worked perfectly, but even though Taikai had figured this out he still had to find his father. He had been alive all throughout the war, and he had to be alive now.   
  
But he couldn't tell Dante this because he wasn't sure he would be able to find him. And to drag her along with him to these places that had been ruined by war, specifically by himself, would be too much for her. Searching for a man she had loved deeply and had lost would kill her. That's why he had left her with Yoru. He would do this alone. If he failed, she would never have to know. He'd keep his own secrets out of wanting to protect her. If he succeeded, it would come as a shock to her, but in the end everything would turn out all right.   
  
He entered the Luxembourg base, leaving footprints behind in the dust. How many years had it been since he had last been here? How many years since he had put his hand on the entry system and said that his name was Heero Yuy? How many years since he had met Treize, held him at gunpoint? And how many years had it been since he had first been introduced to the Epyon? The Epyon. He shivered in the dark of the base. That machine had been so beautifully evil. So sleek in its terrible elegance. So dangerous in its mind altering power. Treize had called it a god, but Taikai put it into the category of demons. Had his father really built that magnificent, horrible machine? It had to have been him. Who else could have been capable of coming up with the idea for the Zero System? No one had stolen the notes as they had been with Dr. J and Yoru Tsukai all these years. It had to have been Kit.   
  
What are you looking for here, Taikai? He asked himself as he looked through the abandoned rooms of the base. You know that you will not find a living soul here. A clue, he answered. All I want is a clue to where he is. I have to find him. Bring him home to Dante, where he belongs. Perhaps this would stop her nightmares. Perhaps this would make them really a family. Perhaps this would enable them to finally leave the war behind completely.  
  
He walked all through the base, and left it out the back door. It led to a small exercise yard, and beyond that was a fenced in area. Growing all up the fence were rose vines, black thorns pressed through the leaves, and the red petals of the flowers shining blood crimson in the sunlight. What was inside there? Treize had been fond of roses, he remembered. Perhaps it was only a small place for the aristocrat to forget that he was involved in bloody battle. Perhaps it was something else, though. Because, as Taikai remembered, his mother also loved roses.   
  
Circling the entire perimeter, Taikai found that it was completely enclosed with roses. There was no way in or out any more, the entrance had been grown over so thickly that he could not even get in close enough to look for the gate. He would have to climb the fence to see what was inside. The thorns cut into his hands, scratched his face and arms and legs, but still he climbed onward. There had been a time, a long time ago, when he could have made it over the top in one leap, but he doubted he was able to do that little trick anymore. Heero Yuy had stamina and did not think about things like thorns. Taikai Kitayori was no longer a soldier, and while his reflexes sometimes acted on their own, his mind would not allow him to even think he could hop over that tall of a fence that was covered in thorns.   
  
He dropped down the other side, receiving a horrid slash down his cheek but deciding to ignore it. The inside was much larger than he had thought. There was a small house in one corner and chickens in an even smaller fenced area. A small vegetable garden was toward the other side. There was even a well in the center. Someone might even still live here, and that someone just might be exactly who Taikai wanted to find.   
  
A small snip of pruning sheers brought him turning quickly to see the person who lived in this secret garden. A tall Japanese man with dark brown hair that went in all directions. Taikai knew him immediately from the article picture. He'd found Kitayori, alive and well. He'd finally found his father.   
  
*I will stumble there with you and you'll be laughing close with me, trying not to make a scene. Etcetera, whatever.*  
  
"What do you want?" Came a cold growl from across the enclosed area. It brought Taikai away from his stunning revelation. "How did you find me? He said I wasn't going to do anymore, and I'm not! You hear? I'm not!" Taikai raised his hands soothingly.  
  
"I'm not here to give you orders," he said quickly. "The war is over." Kitayori's features softened and the pruning sheers that he had been holding up threateningly were pulled down to his side.   
  
"Over? It's over?" Taikai nodded.  
  
"It was over a long time ago." Had Treize just left him here alone? Trapped him behind this wall of roses and used him only to build his Gundams? Kitayori was studying him intently now, as if trying to puzzle out exactly who it was who had climbed over the fence into his home.   
  
"Do I know you, boy?" He asked softly, his head cocked to the side in concentration.  
  
"I am the pilot of the Wing Zero, and the Epyon." His father smiled at the names, a shine of pride springing into his black eyes.   
  
"How were they? You could handle them all right?"   
  
"They were flawless," he heard himself saying in what he knew was a Heero Yuy voice, a cold, emotionless tone that was only stating facts. "Difficult to adjust to, but flawless." Kitayori nodded.  
  
"And he didn't want them to be made. Won the war for you didn't they?"  
  
"Yes," he answered truthfully. It had been the last shots of the Wing Zero that had ended the war. "They did."  
  
"What else about you do I know? I never met the pilots of the suits, or I would have warned them ahead of time."  
  
"I'm also the pilot of the Gundam 01." A different light appeared in those eyes with that remark. A longing, a wishing, a hope that Taikai had to look away from. It hurt to see it. His father hadn't abandoned Dante. He had been forced against his will to come here, and then kept without knowing anything, even that the war was over. It was so wrong.   
  
"The 01? You. . .how did you get to be the pilot? How old are you?" So he wasn't out of his mind. His wit was still quick, and he did know what was going on, despite not knowing the war was over. That was a relief. Taikai had been afraid when he'd first seen him that his senses had been scattered.  
  
"My mother was taken by Dr. J specifically so that I could become the pilot. That was a little over eighteen years ago." The pruning sheers fell to the ground as Kit's grasp relaxed.   
  
"What's your name, boy?"  
  
"I'm Taikai Kitayori," he watched as his father's eyes widened in surprise, then tear with the next words he said. "And my mother's name is Dante." Suddenly hands were on his shoulders and Kit was looking deep into his eyes.   
  
"You are him," Kit whispered through a tear strained voice. "It is you. And your mother, where is she? How is she?"  
  
"She's at home, waiting for me." Kit looked away, blinking rapidly.  
  
"They told me she was dead. They said she was killed in an attack."  
  
"And you believed them?"  
  
"They gave me this as proof," he brought out from his pocket a pendant on a gold chain. A rose. "I gave this to her on our wedding day. No one knew about it. She kept it hidden because it was so special. How would they have gotten it if she hadn't been killed?" Taikai couldn't answer that. Who knew how it had happened? Maybe OZ had searched the old house. There was no way to know. Not that it was important.   
  
"It doesn't really matter anymore," Taikai said. "I'm going to take you home. If you want to come." Kitayori examined the rose pendant in his palm, taking deep breaths to calm himself.   
  
"I prayed for you. These roses were for her. I don't know what I'll say to her. What could I possibly say?"  
  
"You'll figure that out when you get there."  
  
"You really are my son aren't you?"  
  
"Yes. I am." Kit shook his head, as if he just couldn't believe it. Then he looked around at his prison of roses, before sighing.  
  
"Take me home, Taikai. I think I need to return something to your mother." Together they hacked their way out of the wall of roses. Past the secrets of the thorns, and made their way to Dante, who waited patiently by the ocean.  
  
*I guess all I really mean is we're gonna be alright. Yeah, we're gonna be alright. You can close your eyes tonight, 'cause we're gonna be alright.*  
  
Dante saw Taikai coming to her over the hill that led to the house. She swam quickly to the beach just as Taikai reached it. Ignoring the fact that she was soaking wet she threw herself at him, grabbing him in a close hug.   
  
"Tell me when you leave next time, won't you?" She begged as she kissed his cheek repeatedly. "What on earth did you have to look for this time, Taikai?" He didn't answer right away, and that made her pull back to consider him carefully. He was smiling one of those special smiles that made him look very much like Kit.   
  
"I went to find something that belongs to you," he said cryptically, obviously enjoying his secret. What did that mean? She had everything she'd ever needed, or remembered needing. She had him back, she had her home on the beach. Everything that was in her power to enjoy.   
  
"Belongs to me?"  
  
"Do you know who built the Wing Zero and the Epyon, Mother?" She knew those names, but she didn't know what he was talking about.   
  
"Should I?"  
  
"I think you'll find that you should. I've brought him home with me to meet with you."  
  
"Taikai what are you talking about? Why do I care about some mechanic? And you brought him here?"  
  
"It was the same man that built the Gundam 01." She stared at him, hard. She didn't dare even guess what she thought he meant. It was too dangerous for her to hope that much about anything. Especially something like this. She felt Taikai wipe a tear from under her eye before she knew it was there.   
  
"You should go up the hill," he said softly. "The wind is blowing up there. It could dry those tears."  
  
"There are some things you shouldn't joke about, Taikai." He just smiled.   
  
"Just go see. Look! There." He pointed and she looked beyond him to see an older version of him standing on top of the hill. She heard herself gasp, giving a frightened and shocked glance to Taikai. Then she was lurching forward, only getting a few steps before her trembling legs failed her and she ended up back in the sand. Then Kit was there, holding her tightly, running his hands over her shoulders and hair and face. What was happening? It couldn't be real. Yet it didn't go away. The ocean breeze blew about them as her husband clung to her, putting the rose pendant once again around her neck. Where it belonged. Where he belonged. How everything was supposed to be.   
  
"Kit," she sobbed his name over and over. "Oh Kit. I can't believe it."  
  
"My Dante," he replied, his own voice shocked and filled with tears. "My Dante and my son." Together again as it should have always been. Far away she saw Taikai standing with Yoru at his side, both grinning and Yoru reaching up to wipe his eyes every so often. They had done this for them. Taikai had brought him back to her. Back to her. And it was then that she remembered how much she loved to be kissed by the wind.   
  
*All that I can see is your eyes. Close your eyes. Close your eyes.*  
  
I did it, Taikai thought and breathed deeply. He'd solved the mystery and brought his parents back together. And as he watched them in the sand, with the waves rolling around their knees and the sun glinting off their dark hair, he was truly content with the world. This is how a family should be. This had been his best mission.   
  
Yoru gripped his shoulder, squeezing tightly. "Great job, kid," he said in a strained voice. "I can't believe you found him, yet there he is!" Still shaking his head, Yoru turned and walked away, leaving Taikai to watch his parents alone.   
  
Yes, indeed, there he is. Here we are. He was Taikai Kitayori, son of Dante and Kitayori, the long lasting wind. He shook his head, allowing himself to laugh and run down the beach to land on his knees next to his parents. They both grabbed him tightly, finally together as a family. The war finally gone, enabling them to live life as they had always dreamed. To live life in the fashion that most people took for granted every day of their lives. To live life together, as a family.   
  



End file.
